[Anonymous]

Hi April 🙂

I have been dating someone for about 5-6 months now. On and off. We had some trust issues in the beginning but now things are going really good now. We spend a lot of our time together, talk multiple times, daily. I spend the night at his place about 4 nights a week and we enjoy each others company. We do not have the same group of friends, and I have only met a few of his friends but he insists that he is not hiding me, and that everyone knows about me. I do believe this. We talk and act as though we are in a relationship, boyfriend/girlfriend. But we are not. He tells me he is still “single.” We have just recently established the fact that we are just “seeing each other.”

He did tell me in the beginning that he [b]does not want to be in a relationship and just wants to be single[/b] and is still standing his ground, but tells me he is loyal and faithful to me, is not dating anyone else..etc. He also tells me that he wants me to be loyal and faithful to him as well. He gets jealous and wonders who is calling and texting me, as I do to him. Because we act like we are boyfriend and girlfriend, neither of us hesitate to question one another about anything.

I am someone that needs to be in a [b]TITLED relationship[/b] to be loyal and faithful but have fallen into listening to him about being loyal and faithful to him because I really care about him, a lot. I am NOT dating, nor want to date, anyone else except for him. I stopped talking to a lot of the guys I had been dating as soon as we established we are seeing each other, for [i]him[/i].

I love the way things are going right now but I do want to be in a labeled relationship. I am ready for a relationship with him. I even think sometimes I could possibly be in love with him, but have not told him yet because I am afraid to tell someone, who is not in a relationship with me, that I love them.

He tells me his feelings about being in a relationship could change in the future, but right now he just wants to be “single.” I am totally confused. He acts and treats me like his girlfriend but does not want to be in a relationship right now. Tells me he is not with anyone else and does not want me to be with anyone else. What is going on? What should I do? Should I tell him I love him, knowing we are not on the same page? I[i] do not[/i] want to wait around for him to change his mind but I feel as though my feelings are getting stronger and stronger.[b] I need help with this situation, please![/b]

Thank you –
Julie

[Ask April Masini]

Don’t be confused — this is simple:

1. Do not tell him you love him. He’s made it clear to you he’s single and not “in a relationship” with you even though you spend four nights a week together. If you tell him you love him you’re going to be throwing yourself at him even more than you already are. Keep your lips zipped when it comes to professing your feelings to a man who isn’t giving you what you want and need, as far as being “in” a relationship.

2. Stop spending four nights a week with a guy who after five months of dating keeps telling you he’s single and hasn’t introduced you to his friends. You’re making yourself the booby prize. He doesn’t have to work to get you — you’re giving yourself to him and men don’t really respect that. They want to feel like they’ve chased and won a woman. Be that woman who is the prize he has to attain! Not the booby prize he gets at the door whether he wants you or not. 😕

3. Wake up and smell the coffee! If after five to six months of dating and 4 nights a week together on average, your guy isn’t giving you the commitment you want. I know you think you’re falling in love with him, but use that other organ in your body: your brain. If he’s not giving you what you want, he’s not Mr. Right. If after giving chase, per my first and second suggestions, he doesn’t change his own behavior, YOU need to change yours. It’s a lot easier to change yourself than someone else — in fact, it’s the only viable option! You may have to face the fact that he’s not that into you, you’ve given it your best shot, and it’s time to move on

And lastly, buy my book, Think & Date Like A Man, at this link: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. Read it!! You’ll get so much out of it as far as how to date to win Mr. Right. Let me know what you think after you read it (it’s a quick read).

I hope that helps.

[Author]

Posts