[Anonymous]

I just am wondering why I hear about guys straying after a few years in a relationship to ‘play the feild’ and ‘make sure you guys are really right for eachother before you commit’. Isn’t a relationship of over 5 years a committment? Living together? Isn’t a ring? I do hear that some girls find the need to play the feild before they ‘settle down’ but why do i hear so often that a couple breaks up after x number of years of dating, girl pines for a while, guy dates someone else, they don’t talk to eachother for a bit and the guy realizes the grass isn’t greener on the other side?? And why, do we girls let them come back after this so often?

Just would like some insight into the male brain and to figure out if this is normal? Are there usually extenuating circumstances that can contribute to their need to make sure that this person, who they love and have loved for years, is really the person to make them happy forever ie. Parents had a messy divorce in the last few years, friends are all single, etc. ?

Thanks for everyones input!!

[Ask April Masini]

Wow. That’s a lot of questions in one post! 😆 Let me see if I can answer them all for you.

First of all if men stray after committing for a few years, they probably weren’t ready to settle down in the first place. In my book, Think & Date Like A Man, I give my readers all the clues to look for to know if your man is ready to settle down or not. You can buy the book here: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. You can also buy it on Amazon.com or on the website for Barnes & Noble. It’s a great read for anyone with dating questions. Like you! 😉

A 5 year relationship is a commitment, yes. So is living together and so is an engagement ring signifying a marriage to come. But you only have to look around you to know that divorce is now the norm and commitments are broken left and right. So you’re right that dating for years, living together and getting engaged are all commitments, as is marriage — but that doesn’t mean they are bulletproof. 🙁

That’s all the more reason to take dating seriously and to be careful about choosing someone who is compatible and available.

I hope that helps — and that you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter, as well as on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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