[AkaneKurashiki]

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship which ended last year and left me with severe rejection fears.. Old friend came back into my life six months ago , he texted me one day to say he’d been dumped and I told him all about what had happened to me, and we leaned on each other. Recently I’ve been feeling like there’s this huge chemistry between us. We see each other more than we ever did, he’s started liking my photos on facebook, messaging almost everyday. Sometimes he’ll give me little compliments and we often talk about what we want in a relationship now and how we’re ready to move on, and we keep saying how we aren’t meeting anyone out and about that we like. Then, every now and again he’ll make observations on how amazing it is that he can say something to me about philosophy or science and i’ll get really involved and answer him and how great it is that we can connect like that. Yet I am scared that it might be that he just really loves me as a friend – I know he’s not very good at making the first move or flirting or that kind of thing but there definitely feels like sexual tension between us, well I feel it anyway! He makes me so happy and I like to think I can do that for him to, and that we’re both to shy. Do you think he does like me? How can I encourage him to take it to the next level, or maybe there’s a safe way to test how he might be feeling before I try and flirt with him. I really don’t think I can just ask him out, or try to kiss him, I’m far too scared of rejection, but I do want to find out if he wants me, too. Thanks in advance!

[ekysion]

I’m sorry to hear about your past relationship, it’s hard to forget the scars that are left. I am in a similar situation with my best guy friend as well, we do everything in the couple book except for physical touch and there really isn’t sexual tension between us and this is the reason why I haven’t brought it up with him. Our relationship is a bit more complicated and different from others but I know for sure that we are both to scared to bring anything up (when it comes to serious talks) because we are both also afraid of what would happen, since our friendship is something we both really cherish.

I think if there is sexual tension between you two, then he most likely feels the same way and there is nothing wrong with ever making the first move as a woman. My personal philosophy is that if you like someone 100% then you should definitely go for it. Because if you don’t you would only waste time thinking about “what ifs” and some guys are really dense/shy/or idiots when it comes to a girls feelings, so be very clear.

I wish you the best of luck! Let me know how it all works out!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I understand you fear rejection, and you’re not alone. Nobody likes to be rejected, and yet, at some point, we all are. It’s a fact of life. So if you can get over the fact that nobody ever died from rejection, and that’s the worst that can happen, maybe you won’t fear it so much! 🙂 And when you’re feeling like there’s really not all that much to lose and a lot to gain, start flirting with him. Flirting is what dials up the heat in a relationship and it gives him a clue that you’re interested. If he’s shy and also fearful of rejection (and most guys are to some extent), your flirting with him will give him confidence to make a move. He’ll know by your flirting with him, that you like him — and he’s probably waiting for that. So flirt with him, and see what happens. 😎

[Member]

Posts