[Groovy]

Hello, I am new to this website, and am totally lost as to what happened between me and a girl I took out.

I met this girl online, she was super cute, and seem like she was a fun person to be around. We messaged a bit, then she gave me her phone number. We texted for a few days, and eventually I called her and asked her out. About an hour before the date she asked if I had a friend and if we could double date. I did and was happy to oblige, as I could understand being nervous meeting a guy for the first time in real life.

The date started good, we went to dinner, and I felt like we immediately hit it off. We were all laughing (pretty intensely at times), and sharing interesting stories. After dinner we were going to go do an activity, but got lost on the way and ended up arriving too late. This was not really a bad thing though as we all seemed to be having a good time. She also mentioned that she never “has this much fun on dates with guys online”.

While we were trying to find the venue, a bet came up. It was pretty childish an immature but it seem fun at the time. My dates idea was the losers had to kiss. I kinda jokingly said, “…and you think I will try to win”. She kinda giggled and the bet carried on as stated. A couiple min. later she leaned over and whispered in my ear “we are going to kiss, but I want to see my friend kiss yours, so we have to win.” Almost immediatly after that I felt confident enough to flirt a little more intensly, there was alot tickling and pinching. Eventually she snuggled right up to me and we kinda made out, nothing too intense. After i won the bet, my buddy asked me to not make him go through with it, and we made an excuse to get him out of it.

We dropped them off not too long after that, and her friend said she had a boyfriend (which would explain why my date wanted to see them kiss so much), and my date didn’t kiss me again, even after I teased her about how that was “really the only reason I wanted to win.” I playfully chased her joking around that “I would get that kiss.” She told her friend, “I don’t want to cause he’ll lose interest,” as we were running around.

After the date, I text her “ouch!” She replied, that she had already kissed me.

That’s the last I’ve heard from her, I tried to call her the next day (I normally don’t call that quick). she didn’t answer, so I left a message. Later that night I saw here on MSN messager, so I started a conversation with her, she never replied. I was a little pissed off, and said “I don’t get you, you have my number text me if you want.” I realize this was prob. a bit dramatic for the situation, but I feel like we really hit it off and the fact she was ignoring me really bothered me.

Anyways why would a girl act this way? She was pretty young (21) and I guess she could just be a big tease, she had mentioned that she was looking for a relationship early in the messages between us, so Im just totally confused. Also is the damage beyond repair with the last message I left her? I figure I’ll just wait till she contacts me, and the balls in her court. The thing that worries me is that some girls just really play hard to get, and I don’t want to miss out because I gave up to early. How can you tell if she is ignoring you or playing hard to get?

Dazed and Confused

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You definitely overreacted by leaving her a phone message the day after the date, and then starting an instant message conversation with her, to which she didn’t respond, and snapping at her that she should text you if she wants to talk to you.

Impulse control!! 😮

You have to remember that when people meet online, they are often appropriately wary — women especially. When you sent her that last message, you showed her you were impatient and had a temper. What would have been more productive was to wait and see if she returned your phone call from the phone message you’d left on her machine. If she didn’t, then you’d know for sure she’s not into you. But since you’ve displayed some dubious behavior, now you’ll never know if she doesn’t call because she was just waiting a few days to return your call or if she got turned off by your impatience.

Since the date did go well, I think it’s okay to wait a week and then contact her and ask her out on another date. But try to be more patient with her response time. You have to give people a reasonable chance to react, and if they don’t, showing your temper isn’t a mature way to date.

[katdawg]

I agree with April. I met someone online and went out on a couple of dates with him. He knew I had a surgery scheduled but I guess he forgot and when I didn’t return his email on his time his true colors came out in his tempered email. BIG turn off and I never replied to him again. He sent a few more ugly ones but he eventually got the hint I wasn’t into him. Your date seems to be a little immature playing those silly games. There are other ways to go about being safe on a date rather than bring a friend along to try to get her to kiss another man while she has a boyfriend. Why would the girl you took on a date want to do that? Hmmmmmm

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Katdawg brings out an interesting point — that people’s true colors do come out during the dating process, and rather than see them as just a negative, step back and look at the bigger picture. If you keep an open mind when dating you’ll realize that it’s a good thing to find out if someone is incompatible or compatible with you, and going through stressful situations, like not hearing back from someone you dated when you want to, and wondering what went wrong, is one of those times when some people react under stress. Not only do you get to know about the other person, you can also get to know more about yourself and lots of people are surprised at their own reactions!

[Member]

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