[BubblesPink]

So let me preface this by saying that I’m a 22 year old girl, and I’ve never been kissed. I’ve never had a boyfriend and I’ve never been on a date. I’ve never been too bothered about this before, but since my birthday this summer it’s really started to make me feel bad about myself. When all my friends and coworkers start talking about their boyfriends or guys they’ve dated I try to avoid the conversation, because if I get asked I have to try and figure out a way to not let them know that I’m a virgin who has never had any sort of romantic interaction with a guy. I’ve known of a few guys who were interested, but it didn’t work out. Also, right now I’m currently completing an internship with Disney, I work in one of the larger merchandise locations on property and I’m here until January, which kind of factors into my issues.

Anyway, right now I have two dating questions, which is a surprise for me haha:

The first one is about this guy I matched with on tinder. I downloaded the app because a girl I work with met her boyfriend on the app, so I thought, why not give it a shot. I had been using it about a week when I matched with this guy, we’ll call him Sam. He sent me a message a couple hours after we matched, just saying “Good morning (: how’re you” I replied the next day and we started talking a little bit. I found out he was visiting on vacation from England and was flying home the next day. We’ve been messaging on and off for about 5 days now, not really about anything substantial, and I don’t know what’s going to come out of this. It’s so hard to tell what’s flirting and what’s not through messages, in the beginning it seemed like he was flirting but now it doesn’t seem like he is as much, but I’m not sure. Also, unless he’s busy he always replies within 10 minutes of me sending him a message, sometimes even quicker. He’s said multiple times how he wishes he could have seen me when he was here, and how if I had only matched with him earlier we could’ve met up. I told him I wanted to visit England and he said he would love to give me a tour. In one of my first messages I told him I was wary of using tinder because of it’s reputation for hookups, so I figured that would imply I wasn’t looking for one. Should I just keep messaging him and see how it goes? He hasn’t hinted at taking it off tinder or anything, and I know it’s only been a week but I’m so confused. Does he just see me as someone to message when he’s bored, or is he interested in any capacity? We live thousands of miles apart though, and I’m not sure what could come of this.

The second question is about a fellow Disney employee. I was working by myself at one of the registers in a corner of the store that isn’t usually too busy. This guy, we’ll call him Matt, walked up to my register and he was just staring at me. Not in a creepy kind of way, but just smiling and staring at me as if he was so happy. I was making small talk with him, and he was telling me how he had really been wanting to buy this shirt and he had finally been able to come get it and he was happy we weren’t sold out. I told him about a shirt I had wanted so I hid it and he just seemed so interested. During this entire time he was just staring at me, and when I would look up we would make eye contact and he wouldn’t look away, he just kept smiling. At this point I didn’t know he worked for Disney, but when I asked him if he had any discounts he gave me his company id and his credit card, I checked the name on both to make sure they matched, and I asked him where he worked. He told me he was an engineer at one of the parks and worked behind the scenes, he asked me if I knew where one of the buildings was and I said yes, and he said that was where he worked. I rang up his purchase and then we were both standing there, he seemed like he wanted to talk some more, but there was a line so he told me to have a good evening and left.

I just felt like he wanted to ask me for my number or wanted to talk more or something, but was too shy or didn’t know how. I remembered his name, so when I got home I looked him up and found him on Facebook. But I don’t know what to do, we didn’t introduce ourselves so the only reason I know his name is because I looked at his ID, and I don’t want to seem like a crazy girl and add him for no reason. I mean I’ve never really had too many guys interested in me, so I’m not sure if I’m just making this all up in my head. The only possible way for me to see him again is for him to come to my work location when I’m working, or to ask someone there about me, because it’s impossible for me to go to where he works since it’s restricted. But I just felt something with Matt, and I’m not sure if I should just let it go and let fate decide or if I should add him on Facebook and risk seeming stalkerish. My only other option would be to send him a recognition through the employee database, if his manager gives it to him then it’ll have my name on it. But this way I wouldn’t be able to say anything in the message that wasn’t a valid reason for recognizing him, so he might not even know who I am. And since he probably has limited interaction with people outside of his work I don’t know if his manager will even show it to him.

Sorry for the long post, I just wanted to make sure I put all the details in. Any advice?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

These are all good questions, and I’m glad you told me that you haven’t started dating yet because that’s important. Here’s my advice:

* Tinder isn’t what you should be using. It’s a hook up app, and it’s not intended for people wanting long-term relationships. It’s easy to use and easy to get quick results because it’s understood to be a short term relationship product. Most people on there keep this in mind. I know you went to this app because your friends seem to like it, and it’s quick and easy, but since you’re new to dating, it’s probably better if you look for like-minded dates. I don’t get the impression that you’re looking for a hook up, so don’t give others that impression if that isn’t what you truly intend.

* Stay focused on what you want. I know you feel a little panicked and ashamed because you don’t have any dating experience, but panic and shame aren’t going to steer you into the right direction. If you want a dating relationship that is monogamous and long-term, then you should look to people who are geographically compatible. An intercontinental relationship with this guy in London isn’t a great idea given your ages and finances. 😉 Look for someone closer to home with whom you can have coffee, a Friday night movie date and other fun experiences that 22 year olds should be enjoying. 😀

* Lose the panic and shame. There’s nothing abnormal about being 22 without dating experience. Everybody starts somewhere, and you’re completely in the range of normal. Relax. Tell the truth. People may want to fix you up with a nice guy if they know you’re interested in starting to date. And knowing you’re new to dating may influence their choices in introducing you to certain guys, so be open and honest, and you’ll get open and honest back. 🙂

* I like this guy Matt as someone you can practice flirting with. 🙂 I don’t think you should just add him to social media yet since you don’t know him very well, and I don’t think that you should send an interoffice email. But I do think you should take a walk by his building around lunch time, just to see if you bump into him, and if you do, say hello and practice small talk, smiling, complimenting him — and the other basic arts of flirting with him to give him something to chase after.

Hope that helps. Let me know if you have any other questions. 😀

[BubblesPink]

Thank you so much for your help, I really appreciate it and am going to take it all to heart.

You’re right about Tinder, the people I meet on there are not going to be the kinds of people I want to date. You were correct in assuming I wasn’t looking for a hook up, so I need to meet people who have the same views and values as me, and that doesn’t include Tinder. Dating a guy who lives in another country across the ocean isn’t the best idea either. That’s why I was so confused as to why he keeps messaging me, if we both live in different countries what does he expect to happen? But I also don’t want my first relationship to be long distance, and with a guy I’ve never met, so I don’t think it’ll work out between us. Thank you!

Thank you for the kind words, I know that I shouldn’t feel ashamed about my lack of experience. I’m going to stop focusing so much on what I don’t have and try to let myself be honest with people. It’s just expected in our society that everyone should have some sort of past great love by the time they reach a certain age, which makes those of us who haven’t experienced that to feel a little left out.

That was my fear, adding him on Facebook or sending him an email when we don’t even really know each other. The problem is that I can’t really walk around his building at all, because it’s in a restricted location that only those who work in the building have access to, which doesn’t give me much of a chance to meet him. I might be able to hangout around the area, but I won’t be able to tell when he leaves or arrives as the building is in a backstage area I can’t reach.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You have a really great attitude, and I think that when you’re older you’ll see that not everyone has a great love by age 22. Some people don’t have that great love until 50 or even, ever. So don’t sell yourself short. You’re fine just the way you are. And as for this guy, Matt, let it go. If you see him again, flirt with him. If you don’t, my advice for meeting men to date is to smile at 20 new guys every day. Make small talk whenever someone is attractive — “Is that a latte, or a macchiato?” “I love your shirt — where did you get it, my brother would love one just like it!” “What kind of dog is that?” — are all simple ways to get the conversation going. You’re going to be fine. Just stay focused on what you want and who you are. Don’t sell yourself short, and don’t sell yourself to be someone you’re not (like a Tinder hookup). 😉

[ealltech]

Tinder isn’t what you should be using. It’s a [url=https://www.wthr.com/story/30510160/passfeed-hookup-app-gives-you-types-of-hookup-girls]hook up app[/url], and it’s not intended for people wanting long-term relationships. It’s easy to use and easy to get quick results because it’s understood to be a short term relationship product. Most people on there keep this in mind. I know you went to this app because your friends seem to like it, and it’s quick and easy, but since you’re new to dating, it’s probably better if you look for like-minded dates. I don’t get the impression that you’re looking for a hook up, so don’t give others that impression if that isn’t what you truly intend. All right!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re right — Tinder is a hook up app and lots of people don’t realize it, or think they’re immune to the hook up aspect of it.

[Ethan Morales]

On the Tinder guy: She points out that Tinder is mostly for hookups or short-term flings. Even if he seems interested, a long-distance connection right now isn’t practical, especially as your first dating experience. The takeaway: don’t invest emotionally in someone thousands of miles away yet. Focus on dating people you can realistically see in person.

On feeling inexperienced: Masini stresses that being 22 without dating experience is normal. There’s no need to feel shame or panic. Everyone starts somewhere. Being honest about your dating history can actually help it signals authenticity and can even attract guys who are patient and understanding.

On Matt (the Disney guy): He seems interested, but she advises against immediately adding him on social media or using office channels. That could come across as too forward. Instead, approach him casually in person. Smile, say hi, practice light flirting, and give him a chance to show interest naturally. Small, consistent interactions help build attraction.

Extra tips for a beginner like you: Practice small talk and flirting in safe spaces. Coffee lines, classes, or work can be perfect places to get comfortable with casual interactions. Set realistic goals. First, aim to get a phone number or meet for coffee. Then, gradually progress to short dates. Don’t pressure yourself to jump straight to romance. Observe reactions. Notice if he initiates conversation, smiles, or mirrors your body language these are strong signs of interest.

Relax and enjoy the learning curve. First dates and interactions are about discovering comfort and chemistry, not impressing anyone perfectly.

[PassionSeeker]

Hey sweetheart, First off please, breathe. You are not behind, strange, or broken because you’re 22 and haven’t dated or been kissed yet. You’ve just been waiting for someone worth your time and that’s not something to be ashamed of. It means you haven’t settled, and that’s powerful.

Now, about Sam it’s sweet that he made you feel noticed, especially since you’re new to dating. But what you’re picking up on is right: he’s flirting lightly to pass time, not to build something real. Long-distance chats like that are fun, but they don’t usually go anywhere. Don’t invest your emotions in a fantasy when you deserve something real and local.

And Matt that spark you felt? Totally valid. You can trust that instinct, but don’t chase it too hard. If you see him again, smile, be friendly, and let it unfold naturally. No need to track him down online yet you’ll feel more confident letting things develop face-to-face.

You’re learning, growing, and that’s beautiful. You’re doing just fine, promise.

[Marcus king]

You’re overthinking it which is understandable, because this is all new territory for you. Let’s break it down.

First guy (Sam):
He’s probably enjoying the conversation, but given he’s back in England, this will likely stay casual unless one of you makes an intentional move. That doesn’t mean it’s meaningless it’s good practice for connection and flirting. Just don’t invest too heavily. Keep chatting if it feels fun, but don’t start planning flights or futures. If it fades, let it.

Second guy (Matt):
That moment sounds real chemistry, curiosity, and a little shyness on both sides. If he’s thinking about you too, he’ll remember where you work and might circle back. Still, you could take a light initiative: send that employee recognition message. Keep it friendly and simple just enough to put your name on his radar again. If he’s interested, he’ll make the next move.

And one last thing: being 22 and never having dated isn’t strange or shameful. You’re just late to a game most people rush into before they even know themselves. Take your time. You’re not behind you’re just about to start for real.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

babe, Sam’s just vacation texting, cute but zero future 😏 flirt if it’s fun, but don’t build castles over wifi. Matt though? that stare wasn’t “friendly,” it was interested 💋✨

[Tara]

You’re twenty-two, not eighty-two. The fact that you’ve never kissed anyone doesn’t make you defective; it just means you’ve been watching life instead of participating in it. That stops now.
The guy from Tinder? Forget him. He lives across an ocean and probably messages ten other girls between flights. If a man wants something real, he makes effort beyond small talk in an app. Stop giving emotional energy to people who cost you nothing but time.

The Disney engineer? That one’s simple. You either message him or you don’t. Sitting around analyzing eye contact isn’t romantic, it’s paralyzing. He smiled, you smiled, fine — now take a step. Add him on Facebook and send a normal message. “Hey, you bought a shirt from me the other night — wanted to say hi.” If he’s into you, he’ll respond. If he’s not, you move on. No one cares how you got his name; stop acting like you committed espionage.

You’re not going to get anywhere hiding behind fear of “looking crazy.” The crazy thing is wasting opportunities because you’re afraid of rejection. That’s not caution, that’s cowardice.

[Sally]

When you’ve never really had anything happen before, the first little spark feels huge, and it’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s just hope.

Here’s the simple truth: neither of these situations is as complicated as it feels.

With the England guy he likes the attention, and he likes talking to you, but he’s on another continent and he hasn’t made a real move. That usually means it’s just light, friendly flirting. Enjoy it if you want, but don’t build a future around a guy you’ve never met who lives thousands of miles away.

With the Disney guy that one feels more real. Guys don’t look at you like that unless something is there. And you’re not crazy for feeling it. You just have no experience, so it all feels scarier than it is.

If you want to add him on Facebook, do it. You’re not a stalker you saw him, he smiled at you, you remembered his name. That’s normal. Just keep it simple. If he’s interested, he’ll know exactly why you added him.

You don’t need to overthink this. You’re just finally noticing that maybe people notice you to

[Natalie Noah]

you’re navigating a really sensitive stage in life, and I can feel the mixture of excitement, anxiety, and self-doubt in everything you shared. First, I want to acknowledge how brave you are for opening up about your lack of romantic experience. Society often puts unnecessary pressure on young women to have a certain “track record” by a certain age, and it’s so easy to internalize shame when you haven’t followed that timeline. But truly, there’s nothing wrong with being 22 and just starting your journey into romance. Everyone has their own path, and yours is just beginning and it’s okay to take it at your own pace.

With the Tinder situation, I see exactly why you’re feeling confused. Long-distance matches, especially ones across an ocean, can create this illusion of connection without any tangible progression. His quick responses and expressed interest are flattering, but in reality, a relationship that starts with thousands of miles between you, when you’re just stepping into dating, is complicated and often unsatisfying. I agree with the advice you received it’s okay to enjoy the conversation lightly, but it’s smart to keep your heart and expectations grounded. Your instincts are correct: you want someone who can physically share experiences with you, not just a digital pen-pal romance that might leave you more frustrated than fulfilled.

Now, about Matt, there’s a sweet, human connection there, and I love that you’re noticing it. It’s normal to feel that instant spark, and the eye contact, smiles, and shared moment all hint that he’s engaged and open to interaction. But your hesitancy in reaching out on Facebook or via email shows your thoughtfulness and respect for boundaries, which is admirable. What stands out to me is that your best approach isn’t to force contact, but to create natural opportunities for connection. A casual hello if you see him again, small talk, and flirting are all ways to see if there’s mutual interest without overstepping.

I also think it’s important to highlight how you’re learning to cope with shame and self-consciousness about your inexperience. This self-reflection is powerful. Letting go of panic and embracing honesty about your feelings, your intentions, and your boundaries is the best way to build confidence. There’s so much freedom in acknowledging, “I’m new at this, and that’s okay.” It allows you to interact with people authentically, which naturally draws those who respect and appreciate you.

Your attitude overall is thoughtful and full of hope, which is a tremendous strength. By focusing on what you want, staying grounded, and practicing your social and flirting skills with people like Matt, you’re learning the building blocks of meaningful relationships. Patience, curiosity, and courage will serve you far more than rushing or worrying about timelines. Love doesn’t have a strict schedule it comes when you’re ready for it, and you are. Keep being kind to yourself, keep exploring your connections gently, and trust that your experiences, even the small ones, are shaping you into someone ready for a healthy, joyful relationship.

[KeishaMartin]

There is nothing wrong with you, and the panic you’re feeling is way sexier than you realize. You’re not “behind,” you’re unwritten, and that scares you because you’re standing at the edge of desire without a script yet. The Tinder guy? He’s fantasy flirtation, convenient, and safely unreachable. He texts fast because you’re a sweet distraction, not because he’s building a future across an ocean. And that’s okay. Fantasy can be delicious, but you don’t eat dessert when you’re starving for a real meal. You want eye contact, coffee dates, nervous laughter, and someone close enough to touch not a passport romance powered by emojis.

Now let’s talk about Matt, because that was real energy. That slow smile, the eye contact that lingered just a second too long, the “I want to say something but don’t know how” tension? that’s not in your head, that’s chemistry simmering quietly. But here’s the grown-woman move: you don’t chase, stalk, or force fate in a company database (no matter how tempting). You let it breathe. If he circles back, you flirt softly. If he doesn’t, you take the lesson not the loss. Dating isn’t about grabbing the first spark; it’s about learning how to hold one without burning yourself. You’re practicing confidence right now, and practice is sexy.

April Masini nails this advice with calm authority and sharp instincts, she doesn’t sell fantasies, she builds foundations. That’s real power. She reminds women that desire without direction is chaos, and self-respect is the ultimate glow-up. So as Christmas rolls in, I hope you’re at a holiday party in something that makes you feel just a little dangerous, sipping something festive, smiling at strangers without apology. May your season be full of twinkling lights, warm flirtation, and the quiet confidence of knowing. you’re exactly on time.

[Member]

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