[ziew]

First about me,i am a man in college in a science major and spend most my free time in the gym and am in great shape according to most my friends.I normally get asked out on a date at least once a week by a girl and I usually turn them down due to the fact that they are all are so boring and talk about the same thing over and over. I don’t want a girl just because she is physically attractive like most guys. it feels like taking advantage of a girl if u date them based only on looks and im not like that. I am also painfully nice and it usually is the downfall of me. So I have countless other women that I could date but I fell for just this one and here is the story.

I knew her very little last year and started to talk to her again this year again and we became friends and over about 2 months I got close enough to date her. When I dated her i felt closer to her than any other girl I ever felt before. The winter break came and we saw each other a few times during it. When we came back her schedule was super packed and we barely had time to hangout the first 2 weeks. That is when she broke up with me saying she didn’t have time to have a bf.

Normally I would just move on and find someone else. I have been asked out constantly the past few weeks and im starting to feel bad turning down all the advances. I could get a gf in a heartbeat but I don’t want any girl she is different than any girl i have ever met and or prolly ever will. I have never felt so close to a girl like her she was different and I doubt ill find any other girl like her ever again. So I want to win her back instead of just dating random ppl I don’t feel attracted to emotionally. Most my friends laugh at me when I try to get advice saying that they wont give advice to someone who turns down girls that are 2 times more physically attractive (according to them) than the girl he is trying to be with.
So here are my choices

-one tell her the truth and tell her that 5 mins of talking to her is more exciting then 1000hrs of talking to any of the other girls out there and that I would treat her better than anyone ever could (im worried that this could back fire and she doesn’t want to be near me thinking that ill always hit on her)

-or take the long run and be friends with her and try and build up our friendship till I can ask her out again (I’m worried that I could lose her forever to her next bf and there would be nothing I could do and be stuck in the most painful position ever having to watch the one person u care for fall for someone else)

i normally would wait it out but she is starting to hang out with another guy and when ever she mentions him she gets quite like she said something mean and i think if i dont make a move soon she will start dating him. it doesn’t sound like a friend thing she looks almost guilty when she talks about him. I know she likes me still and wants to be with me at least in some part and she said this many times when she broke up with me but im stuck with what to do next. I don’t know how many chances u get in this life to be with someone who truly makes you happy so I really don’t want to mess this up.

Any advice you can provide is appreciated.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think you have to find out if she told you she doesn’t have time for a boyfriend because she really doesn’t have time for a boyfriend or because it was a softer way of letting you down instead of telling you she just wasn’t that interested.

If she’s really too busy to date, then befriending her and staying close is your best bet. It’s a much better position from which to win her over than any other. But if she’s being truthful and is more interested in her school work than a relationship right now, I think that waiting in the wings (which I know you don’t want to do) until she’s available is all you can hope for.

I know you’re fabulous looking and in great shape, but sometimes even Adonis’ need help! Check out my book called Date Out of Your League for hints and tips you haven’t yet tried to win her over. Here’s the link for the book: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. It’s only $8.99 and it may give you the help you need.

Let me know how things go — and follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Member]

Posts