[auntb]

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for nearly 4 years now. I recently found out he’s been inappropriately text another woman (who is married and someone i know to make it worse). I confronted him about it, he apologized and said he would stop. Over the passed couple of weeks it’s all I can think about. So it’s made me a crazy person who constantly is trying to check his phone and the phone bill (I am normally NOT a snoop, but I feel compelled to check since I figured this all out). Anyway, I also found a few other numbers, all ladies, who he’s been texting over the months frequently and late late at night. I confronted him again and he tells me they are just friends and he’s not doing anything inappropriate. Umm.. Then why after 4 years have I never heard of any of them? I also just found out a coworker is attracted to me.. I’ve secretly been attracted to him as well, but definitely nothing has happened between us since I’m in a relationship. And, I am typically super against dating coworkers.. There’s just something about him, he’s pretty dreamy.
I’m just so confused. I love him, but can I ever trust him again? If I stay will I always be the crazy girl that has to snoop? What about my coworker I’m super attracted to? I don’t know what to do.. Please help! I need an unbiased persons opinion from an outside view.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Your mind is reeling because after four years with your boyfriend, you’ve found out that he’s betrayed you and you’re not sure where that betrayal ends, if it ends, and what those four years actually mean any more. This new guy is not a real option for you. He’s a distraction from your problem: your current relationship.

I don’t know how old you are, but I’m guessing that you’re looking for a long-term relationship that leads to marriage. And if that’s the case, it’s important to keep your eye on the ball. I know you’re afraid of being alone (because you haven’t broken up with your boyfriend, and you’re considering a Mr. Right Now so you can move from one relationship to another), but my advice is to face your fears — and overcome them. Your boyfriend is not happy in the relationship with you, so he’s gone outside of it. These betrayals don’t happen in a vacuum, so either you’ve ignored who he is (if he’s always been a cheater) or you’ve been unaware of his dissatisfaction with just you. If you want to stay in the relationship, then you have to work on it. And if you want to leave the relationship, then you need to do so. If you do, then be single. Don’t jump into something else just to alleviate the hurt of a break up. Break ups are supposed to hurt, and there is no short cut for that pain. But the upside of breaking up is that you have an opportunity to learn from what happened and figure out what your part in the failed relationship was, so you can be more successful next time. 😉 I hope that helps!

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[auntb]

Thank you! That really did help a lot.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome. 😀

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i]![/b]

[Member]

Posts