[michaelcharles]

I was with my now ex-girlfriend for six months and I was falling in love. We spent the past two days together. The first night she sat me down and told me she lied to me when I asked her about her sexuality early on in the relationship. She told me she is bi-sexual. I told her it was ok, but the lying part was a difficult pill for me to swallow. The next day I was on her computer and my lack of trust got the best of me. I checked her browsing history. For the past couple weeks she visted dating sites regularly. I asked her if she visited dating sites. She responded by restating my question. I told her I know she visted these sites because I was so untrsuting that I checked out her web browsing history and she started to “remember” that she had visited these sites but said it was months ago. I explained that her history showed she visited these sites much less than a month ago and that I did not want an open relationship. She said she did not want one either. Within the hour I went back to her and asked her how many people she has been with since we started dating and she restated the question just as she did with the question about the dating sites. Then she got incredibly defensive and argumentative. I sat her down and explained calmly that I’m not mad, but I’m very hurt by all this. I explained that she provided me no support only defensive behavior which made her appear guilty. I told her I just need to understand what she wants and who she is so I can stay with her or move on. She began to cry. She said “I’m lost”. I asked her to simply decide if she wanted to be in a loving supportive relationship. She could not decide, so I said call me when you know and I walked out.

[Ask April Masini]

You definitely did the right thing. I know it’s hard to be alone now, and to look back on the betrayal of her lies, but once you found out what was really going on you took the right actions by talking to her about it, and asking her if she wanted a healthy relationship. Her uncertainty was a bad fact. You can do better.

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