[best]

I had a great fling with a guy for over a month. We took a week off because he wanted to figure out how he was feeling about me and his ex girlfriend. Yesterday he called me to tell me that he wanted to explain everything. He said he felt really bad for shutting me out and that he ended everything with his ex but needs time to grieve. I asked him how he felt about me, his response was: lets be friends and if something happens, it happens.
I had time to think things through and I realized that that wasnt good enough for me. Today I sent him a text message saying that I couldnt be his friend and pretend that I didnt have feelings for him. If he didnt want to date me then we should go our separate ways.
Im feeling a bit uneasy about all this because I really like him, I just feel the timing was all wrong.
Observations please. xoxo

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

Sometimes less is more. Your instincts were correct that you deserved more than his “grieving” over an ex-girlfriend after having a one month relationship with you. However, giving him an ultimatum and laying all your cards on the table after only one month are NOT what I would advise.

Women need to keep some mystery about them to keep a guy intrigued. It’s not surprising that the amount of “sharing feelings” correlates directly with all the divorce and breaking up that’s going on. Saying nothing and accepting his rejection, while living your own life to the fullest, is what I would have recommended. If he comes back to you and you’re still interested in him then he’ll have his work cut out for him to win you over. 😉

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go. And join me on Facebook! I’d love to have you as a member of AskApril.com at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

[Anonymous]

April:
Thank you for your response. I thought about it and you are right, it was too much too soon. He did come around though, he said he felt the same way but he didnt want to get into anything formal as he had just left the other relationship.. The problem is that I dont think I can be in an casual relationship without constantly having expectations of a romantic relationship. Can things change or should I get back in the market?

Thanks!

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

Go back to “the market” and if he wants a change in your relationship, he can compete with all the other guys who not only want you, but are willing to offer you what you want! What I’d like for you to avoid is being jerked around by a guy who isn’t clear on his own life, and drags you into his emotional storm. The longer you date him (even if it’s on and off), the more emotionally involved with him you will be and the harder it will be for you to get what YOU want from a relationship.

It’s a much better idea to date someone long enough to find out if you both want the same thing, and then if you do, to see if you’re good together. You’d get a lot out of reading a book I wrote called Think & Date Like A Man, for women who want to succeed in love. You have to think with your head, as well as your heart, and this book will guide you through the steps you need to take to do so. It’s going to be good for you, so get it! Here’s the link: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. I’d also like you to join me on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Member]

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