[sparkleandfade]

April, I was seeing this guy I met at college for all of fall semester. It was really healthy and fun, but he asked me to be his girlfriend and I told him I wasn’t into “labels”, “they only complicate things”. He understood, and we established ourselves as a “situation”. Holiday break came, and we hadn’t seen each other for three weeks. Over break, we would talk and share our excitement about seeing each other and what not. I came back a week prior to him being back. The day after he got back, we hung out and it wasn’t the best day for me. I basically just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. We spent the day, and the night because of the storm, and the next day he went home. I called him a day later to hang out. He said he was out with one of our mutual friends and he’d call me when he was back home. Hours go by, and no call. I texted him seeing what he was up to, and he was hanging out with a different mutual friend. I replied with “oh, im sitting at my apartment”. hour goes by, no reply. I heckle him a bit and say “okay, i guess this is just whatever then”. He responds with.. feelings change, lets just be friends. Out of no where! He won’t even talk to me about it, he says there’s not much to say. I texted him earlier today asking for closure… but no response. What did I do? Did I push him away? I know I should give him space, but I deserve an explanation! Do I not? What do I do : The worst part is that I realized I wanted to actually be his girlfriend just before he came back from break… help please!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It’s not fair for you to think that you deserve an explanation for his behavior, but he doesn’t deserve a label for the relationship. You can’t have a two way street if you’re only willing to go one way. 😕

When he asked you to be his girlfriend, instead of accepting, you pushed your own values on him and they weren’t compatible with his. Men want to feel like they’re in charge of things, and you took that away from him. You’d get a lot out of reading Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. I hope you’ll buy it and read it.

When you do, you’ll understand what men are looking for in a relationship and how to keep one. Your guy’s feelings didn’t change suddenly. They changed gradually, and you weren’t paying attention. 🙁 Now you want closure, but you’re going to have to get it from within — not from him. He’s done and has moved on.

When you understand the part your own behavior plays in a relationship you can decide whether or not you want to change it, and [i]that[/i] is how you’ll get your closure.

I hope that helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

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