I think I really screwed up a great friendship and I am looking for suggestions on how to make amends. I have a great friendship with this gal I work with. We are both married. We talk about everything and help each other sort out our issues with our spouses and everything else. We have met each others spouses and spent time together with them. There has been a little teasing and flirting and she has a pet name for me but there has never been anything inappropriate between us.
Last week we had some snow and I expressed my concern to her about her having to drive home in it. It was after we said goodbye that day I realized how much I cared for her. I spent all Thanksgiving weekend thinking about it and found I had feelings about her that were more than friendship. When we got back to work after the holiday I decided to tell her. I know, that was my first mistake.
I told her, in an email, that I cared a great deal for her and I had considered pursuing a more intimate relationship with her. But I told her I didn’t want to do so because I didn’t want to lose the friendship. She did not respond in any way to my message. Late in the day I IM’ed her and apologized for saying it and screwing up our friendship. All she said was my comment was unexpected. After apologizing again she said “we’re good”. I sent her another apology email the next morning and have not received a reply. I decided I better leave well enough alone for now and we have not talked since.
Trying to understand what she is thinking I can only come up with two explanations. One is she is repulsed by the thought of a relationship with me and is just to nice to say it. The other is that she has had the same thoughts and my comment made it real for her and she is scared. I have no intention of having an intimate relationship with her. I just want her back as the great friend she was. What do I do?
