[confusedgal31]

I met him from a dating website a few months ago. So we don’t have any mutual friends. He initiates the contact and once he knew my no, he called me and talked till 3am in the morning. We text everyday, only a short msg in some busy days though. I asked him to wake me up in the morning so that i wouldn’t be late for work. In 3 months, he calls me every weekday morning on his way to work to wake me up, he only missed 4 days when he was sick. He seems to be happy when we are together, keeps making me laugh and conversation alive, looks comfortable, carries my shopping and grocery bags, acting a gentleman. But he seems to like to take things slowly. He never asks me out deliberately, he always waits for me to drop a hint to meet up. We only met 4 times outside. Every time we have met, he always text me how happy he was. But he never tries so hard to meet next time. Our everyday texts are not flirty but just chit chat. I feel he is just replying me without any stronger interest so i stop texting. Then he always drops me a msg like “How’s your day?” “How’s work today?” etc. So I’m confused. Is he interested in me? Or is he just simple a nice gentleman?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Tell me a little more, first! Like…. how old are you both? And how did the four get togethers come about? Did he ask you out on a date? How did the two of you get together and what did you do on those four get togethers?

As soon as you fill me in, I’ll respond! 🙂

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[confusedgal31]

Hey April, thanks for the reply.
He is 31 and I’m 27. Our get togethers were great. We went for dinner after work and coffee. We spent 2-3 hours every time. He seems comfortable and happy, I’m not mind reader though. He always keeps conversation alive cos I’m on more quiet side, makes me laugh. He mostly talks about the funny things at work, events with his friends and family. He one time shared me about his family members’ divorce cases. He told me about his exes but only when I asked. But he didn’t ask me out for a date. 🙁 our arrangement of these get togethers are like unplanned things, when I texted him that it’s so lonely to have dinner alone, he replied that I could wait for him. When he texted me what’s my dinner and I said I hadn’t had yet then he asked me whether I would want company. So he literally didn’t ask me out for a date. That makes me sad. We are actually nobody to each other, not friend, not colleague, no mutual friend, not even the same nationality. So if he isn’t interested, he doesn’t need to bother waking me up everyday, right? But if he is interested then why is he so slow? Or am I just being too pushy? How should I play his game?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Got it! Thanks for filling me in. 🙂

So, it sounds like you’re doing the initiating. 😕 And because he’s doing what you’ve asked him to do, you’re sort of “sliding” into the idea that you’re together — especially because he seems to have a good time with you. The problem is, he hasn’t asked you out on a date, and by being so available and telling him to call you every day, and to meet you for dinner when you’re lonely, you’re not giving him the chance to do so. 😉

The best way for you to know how he feels about you is to not ask him to take you to dinner and to not have him wake you up every day, and to not initiate contact. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’re going to stay confused about his feelings and slide right into the friend zone. So back off, and let him lead. Flirt with him, so he has something to chase after, but don’t initiate contact, and don’t be so available! 😉

I hope that helps.

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[confusedgal31]

Thanks April!
That really helps. I realize I should have more faith.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re welcome.

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