[Frustrated78]

Hello,

I’ve met a woman that I see on and off while food shopping. Great chemistry and match on various things in common, etc. She gave me her business card at one point (without my asking), and at another point I asked for her # (which I tested in front of her while entering in my phone to make sure I got right). This began months ago.

She flaked on a few dates so far, and we still haven’t been on any sort of date (let alone something physical). We have had many conversations on the phone, sometimes long, about different things, which really began/ramped up in the last month to 1 1/2 months. Also many texts here and there. If anything, we’ve probably texted more, though obviously the phone conversations are more in depth. At one point earlier on, she even brought up sex and her concerns about potential compatibility, though in a more dry way, with nothing hot or phone sex like.

Yesterday, a little over an hour after sending two light/innocuous texts, I left her a voicemail about a possible date that night. She called me back around 5:pm, asked if I called her, and let me know she’s sometimes getting her voicemails delayed. So I told her what I said on it, and she told me she had to do something related to an injury.

We started talking, and – while I can’t remember the particulars – she playfully mentioned one of her sex toys, which I of course acknowledged and went along with. The conversation might have shortly drifted from that sort of thing, but once I brought it back to that, it was ON! We probably spent at least 20-25 minutes in a hot conversation about different things we like/don’t like, what we would be doing/want to do, what I want to do now, etc. and except for one point where I may have pushed a little too far (which elicited a “what did you say” from her, though we went back on track), it was fabulous. She even said I can’t believe we’re doing this (or words to that effect), and I ended it with a kiss noise, which she reciprocated with. I may have given another (I don’t remember for sure) and hung up the phone. Again, it was fantastic.

Today I got a text from her that said:

“I enjoyed speaking with you yesterday. When we were done talking I felt awkward. I can’t start a friendship or relationship like that. I’m sorry.”

Which I replied to a little while after by writing:

“(Her name), with me you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m a gentleman and honestly think well of you after last night. Take a breath, relax. (My name)”

Which she then replied to by writing after a bit of time:

“I’m not embarrassed”

Which I followed up by writing:

“Good – I’m glad to hear that. Unlike how some guys think, I assure you I don’t see you as any less of a person after last night. Honest… (My name)”

How can I salvage this? I seriously want this to happen/progress with her. I’m not just after her for sex, though I realize it can be helpful sometimes to approach a woman along those lines vs. as a “boyfriend” before it develops to a serious relationship. I feel genuine chemistry with her, and feel this could eventually go right, even if it takes some extra effort/work on my part. Doing it right is the problem. Unlike many guys, I’m not just trying to manipulate. I really want this to work.

I’m going to a car show in a couple of days. Should I maybe just send a light text while there saying something like “Just saw a beautiful 19XX (insert model of car)…”, and maybe some thought on it? Or leave alone for a while, though ’til when? How to reintroduce myself back in via text? Again, I really want this to work and make her feel comfortable with beginning something with me. Thoughts on “playful persistence” texting re this?

What if she calls, and gives some resistance/reiterates the above? How do I make it work?

If you need more particulars about her and/or me (age, individual history, etc.), other history/details about us to better answer the question, please advise and I’ll do my best without betraying anything private.

April, I greatly appreciate your perspective on this.

[AskApril Masini]

How old are you both?

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

Let me know, and I’ll respond at length. 😉

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