[confused29]

My boyfriend has a 13 year child and was only with the mother for a year (including the pregnancy).
The baby’s mother cheated on him but they have messed around on or off during the past 13 years. I’m concerned he still wants to be with her. More importantly is it normal that my boyfriend not only takes care of his child but their 5 siblings as well? This bothers me and is the main reason I doubt we can be in a long term relationship. Please help, am I being selfish or would most people in my position feel the way I do?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

First of all, you are NOT being selfish if you’re figuring out what works for you and what doesn’t. If you don’t want children, do want children, don’t want step-children, don’t want someone who’s been divorced — you should be honest with yourself and your date. It’s best way not to waste his time or yours. 😉

Your instincts are correct. This guy has been “messing around” with his ex-girlfriend who is also the mother of his teenage child for 13 years, as long as he’s been broken up from her. There is no reason to think this will stop if it hasn’t for 13 years. That he takes care of her other five children is just a sign that he’s committed to her, but the fooling around with her off and on for 13 years is the real flashing red light here. My advice is to move on and find someone who’s more clear in his desire to be with you and only you. 😉

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[confused29]

Thank you for all your helpful advice. These are all things I was aware of but needed to hear from an outside source.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re welcome. 😀 I’m glad I was able to help.

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

[ashley235]

i think its messed up and he could still have feelings for her idk really. i mean if they ended it but were still messing around for 13 years of course theress feelings there
there was this house up my street that my bf always drove by and always stared at while he drove by it. after months and months went by i finally asked who lived here, he said his son. i never knew he had a son. his son is 8 years old. he was with his ex for 4 years. it was his first relationship the first girl he loved. they were young, she stopped taking her pills and got pregnant he didnt know she did it on purpose.
but anyways her mom made them get married, then he divorced her after she cheated on him.
he asked to get back with her, after a month it didnt last, she tried to be with him and it didnt work.
but as we drive by he still stares at her house, looks for her car at her work.
he always brings her up like everyday.
when she found out he got me pregnant she did everything to get him to break up with me, it didnt work.
she sent him pictures, she sent him text, and called him with love songs playing.
she has a bf and is getting married soon. but she still asks for another baby so there son wont have a half brother or half sister. he says no. but he doesnt tell her to stop sending pics or calling. when he shows me the messages the pictures are all still there.
he says i made him believe in love again, he feels like he loves me more then he loved her because i treat him better and he can be himself with me. but i feel like he still has feelings for her, since he talks about her alot, looks for her alot, doesnt tell her to back off. since they were married and had a baby together i know he wont just end it that easy.
but i feel like its almost to stressfull for me to have to deal with him and her. i always feel like he will leave me and be with her again.
so i sort of know where u are coming from. but do u want to worry about it the rest of ur life with him

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

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