[cdiru001]

me and my girlfriend of 3 years broke up a few months ago. through out the relationship we spoke of getting married and even having children EVENTUALLY. we have known each other for 5 years abd were best friends before we got together. we are both 19. Now we had been fighting for a while because of certain things like my weight and many other things and it got to the point where we were fighting all the time. i have a lot of problems in my life currently and the break up didnt really help. my parents have been separated for about a year and a half and are in the process of a divorce. my dad left the house because he is an addict to drugs and alcohol. i never got along with my dad but when he left it was a major hit to my emotions. throughout a year in the relationship i was depressed because i did not want contact with my dad yet he still tried to talk to me. anyways my girlfriend didnt like the fact that i hadnt been productive through my depression and gain some more weight during that period. so in january she moved to orlando to be part of the disney college program. she mentioned that one of the reasons was to get away from the fighting we always had and that we would be on a break. she told me not to get mad if she found someone else and well she did. i didnt think much of it until i found out that he also lived in the same city as i do. now i had no problem with her finding someone that was in the program but she ended up talking to some one that was actually in one of her classes the semester before. now she dumped me right before valentines day for the other guy and they have been going out since then.she eventually told me that the reasons she broke up with me was because i never did the “little things” a bf should do and referenced me to the song “when i was your man” by bruno mars. the thing that hurts the most is that i did more then the little things for her. i always have been very romantic in what i do for surprises and even bought tickets to a concert she had been wanting to go to. anyways, i got very bitter and started arguing with her and stuff and it didnt end very well. we went from talking every single day non stop to talking maybe once every week and a half and maybe less. i decided i wanted to make her jealous in a way by going to an event that we had always wanted to go to but was to expensive for both of us. i worked the event the first weekend and attended the 2nd. i posted many pics of the event all over instagram and face book knowing she would see it. while at the event (Ultra music festival) i got a few shirts of her favorite dj for free that glow in the dark. one of my friends told me that the best thing to do was to kill her with kindness since she was so harsh on me. i gave her the shirt and we have been talking more since then. now here is where my question comes. SHE started messaging me after i left her the shirt asking me how the event was (the jealousy thing worked) and asking me what i liked about it and so on. we eventually started having casual conversations through text since i gave her the shirt (she came down for easter). she asked me if i had see some pics of her and her new bf on a date on facebook and i lied and said i didnt. she sent me the pics and i feel like it was trying to do the same thing as me with the event. now i feel like she is trying to make me jealous because he current bf is very ugly and even some of her friends have told me the same and have been confused about it. yesterday we were talking and some how the conversation brought up a bad memory of her and i told her that i remembered it we ended up fighting because she thought i was trying to prove that i was right but i was just showing her how i remembered trying to comfort her that day. now i feel like she is trying to make me jealous bcuz she keeps saying that she doesnt want to keep talking to me cuz her bf is going to get mad and that she loves him. now what doesnt make sense is that she followed that by saying that she had told him that she was talking to me and that he got jealous for a second and then said that he is glad he will have her forever and stopped being jealous. she contradicted herself there. now i want to know if she has this boyfriend mostly to make me jealous and make me change the reasons we broke up or is she with him bcuz its real. it seems like they have been moving VERY quickly knowing that they have only been together for 2 months and are already talking about being together forever and already planning road trips and cruises for the fall. the way she has been texting me seems to sound like she wants to talk to me but knows its wrong since she is in a relationship. she told me that friends dont talk as much as we were texting and that we should probably stop for a while. Does my ex still have feelings for me and is just trying to make me jealous and change myself to a better person?

[AskApril Masini]

That was a lot of information for one question!

[quote]Does my ex still have feelings for me and is just trying to make me jealous and change myself to a better person?[/quote]

Your ex does still have feelings for you. But I don’t think that she’s trying to make you jealous. I think she’s trying to befriend you, which doesn’t ever work. And you can see why! Men and women can’t be friends because one person always feels more than the other — and that’s not a friendship. 😕 I also don’t think she’s trying to make you be a better person. I think she’s just conflicted because you’re reaching out to her in a nice way, now, and she feels like she should reciprocate. But, she’s moved on and has a new boyfriend, so she’s trying to be honest so you don’t get the wrong idea. In other words, she’s trying to friend zone you — and it’s not working.

My advice is that you address the very real problems in your own life. 🙂 You mentioned a weight problem — if you start focusing on that, join a gym, eat smart — you’ll start meeting women at the gym and in the health food store! That’s one of the issues in your life that you actually CAN have some control over. 😉 And instead of focusing on revenge, which you seem to have dabbled in here — focus on YOURSELF 😀 and your ability to use this break up as an opportunity to improve yourself, figure out what went wrong and correct what you can there, and see who else is out there for you to date! If you’re interested in winning her back again, then that’s one thing — but I really just hear you asking what happened, and what is she doing — you’re not focusing on a clear plan for yourself, and that’s what I think you need to do. 😀

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[cdiru001]

Lol I know it was alot of information for the question but I thought having a background of the situation would help. I have lost 20 lbs since the break up in a healthy way and am currently in program for it. The only problem is the fact of the way she is talking to me. She was the one who started the conversation and was trying to use an excuse by saying her bf doesn’t want her to talk to me yet she continues to say that her bf doesn’t care. She contradicts herself. Also we talked about me and my best guy friend going on a cross country road trip and saving money by sleeping in the car and she said that its very dangerous and that she is worried. I then told her we weren’t going to be able to bcuz he has something else to do and this have her a sigh of relief.

[AskApril Masini]

Do you have a question for me? 🙂

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