[Jake Julius]

I’ve been talking to a girl I really like for about 3 weeks and we’ve gone on casual dates. She is 28 and I’m 32. She is really funny and we have the same vibe. The thing is, I’m not sure if she already has a boyfriend or is even married. Some action she does makes me wonder like she sometimes avoid talking about her personal life and I noticed a few inconsistencies when she talks about her weekends. I want to confess my feelings for her and ask her to be my exclusive girlfriend but I’m also scared if she already has a boyfriend or husband and I’ll be the reason to ruin their relationship. I don’t want to jump to conclusions but I also don’t want to waste my time if she’s not actually available. How do I find out for sure without making it awkward by asking her directly?

[Nabiha]

When someone hides their personal life, it’s often because there’s already a “permanent resident” there. If you can’t find her weekends in 3 weeks, assume she’s ‘vibe’ing someone else on the weekends
“And your saying ‘I won’t ruin their house’ is a bit too filmy. If she’s married and going on dates with you, then you’re not the one ruining the relationship; she’s the one ruining it. You’re just being a tool.
Instead of trapping yourself by rushing into an I love you, play it like a detective for a bit. If she were actually serious about you, she’d be letting you into her life, not hiding it.
I think if you’re suspecting a boyfriend or husband in 3 weeks, there’s a 90% chance your gut feeling is right. Don’t waste time, get a background check done first, then give up!

[Member]

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