When someone hides their personal life, it’s often because there’s already a “permanent resident” there. If you can’t find her weekends in 3 weeks, assume she’s ‘vibe’ing someone else on the weekends
“And your saying ‘I won’t ruin their house’ is a bit too filmy. If she’s married and going on dates with you, then you’re not the one ruining the relationship; she’s the one ruining it. You’re just being a tool.
Instead of trapping yourself by rushing into an I love you, play it like a detective for a bit. If she were actually serious about you, she’d be letting you into her life, not hiding it.
I think if you’re suspecting a boyfriend or husband in 3 weeks, there’s a 90% chance your gut feeling is right. Don’t waste time, get a background check done first, then give up!