[tigeralum10]

Hi there,

A year ago me and my ex started dating. However after a few months when things didn’t work out between the two of us I decided that it was best that we were not together.It truly was/has been a struggle trying to get over him especially when we would see each other just about everyday (we worked together on the same shift) and have to interact from time to time.So we decided to just remain friends for the sake of our sanity since we both still had feelings for each other but knew that being together in a relationship wouldn’t work for us.

So here’s where the issue comes along about two weeks ago after we both finished our work shift he calls me to let me know that he had been arrested after he went to court on a traffic violation for something that happened back in 2005. So I was thinking that it was just maybe an overnight thing and he would be out the next day or so. However that wasn’t the case. I later found out that he wouldn’t get to see a judge till the end of this month. So me trying to be a friend to see if i could help him keep his job i went and talked to his hr representative and explained everything that he told me to help save his job. I’m really not sure that it helped or not but his hr representative thanked me for sharing the information with her, so it wouldn’t seemed as if he just failed to show up to work.

So now he’s asking me to help him out once he gets out if he loses his job by allowing him to stay with me till he can back on his feet. I really don’t want him to not have anywhere to stay but I don’t want him to stay with me either; especially since I’m barely making it on my own supporting myself and my child. Even tho i still care about his well being; I cannot afford to add to my budget of taking care of an adult who probably won’t have a income of their own. And when he asks me if I would be able to help him out for some reason I can’t give him a definite answer because I’m torn between the decision on should I allow him to stay or not.

Some advice right now would really help!!!!!!

Thanks

tigeralum10

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You don’t want him to stay with you. You’re not dating him and you’re not related to him. You can barely afford to take care of yourself and your child, let alone him. What, on earth, would compel you to say he could stay with you? 😯

Just say no. You don’t have to offer an explanation. Enabling someone isn’t going to help them or you. 😉 Focus on your own life, and let go of him. 😉 You’ll be more available for someone great to be in your life if he’s not part of it.

I hope that helps.

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