[confused123]

i let my boyfriend borrow my ipod when he went away for 2 weeks, when he came back, we ended up breaking up because he thought i cheated. some guy from class continued to call me for no reason, and when i mentioned him to my bf, and said i wanted to talk to him about this guy, he assumed i cheated, and then ignored me for a week before finally breaking up. He knows i didnt cheat on him, because if he truely believed that, he would have told me off, called me a slut and a bitch and be done with me. He hasnt said that once, just ignored me and then broke up.

its been a month and he still hasnt given my ipod back, and constantly tells me he will, and then i just never hear from him. Im not worried that his intention is keeping it, he doesnt need it, but why wont he just stay true to his word and return it?
i text him all the time, reminding him i need it, and sometimes i’ll just text him randomly with a funny or sarcastic comment, and sometimes he replies to those with another witty comment. i was just trying to get him to be himself again, and it started to work a little bit, but then he went back to ignoring me. And i get frustrated because i dont understand, he’s the one who wanted to end it, and now hes just playing this silly little game of ignoring me, and saying he’ll drop it off and then doesnt. I have even offered to come to his hockey practice just to pick it up my self, but still i get no reply.

i think hes a little scared of seeing me, because he knows this is all his fault, and he took it to far, but why cant he just return it, and end this properly. I really do want to try and work things out with him, and im more desperate about seeing him so i can finally talk to him about this whole thing. But hes being so stubborn, and it doesnt matter what i say to him, he just ignores me

what should i do? 😥

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Fights about taking out the garbage are NEVER about taking out the garbage, and your ex-boyfriend failing to return your Ipod is not about the Ipod — it’s about the relationship. If he wanted to be done with you he would either return the Ipod and not communicate with you at all — or else he would keep the IPod because he felt it was a way of getting back at you for cheating on him. I think he’s doing the latter.

The problem is that you’re giving him mixed messages about the relationship [i]and[/i] the IPod. That’s why you’re confused. When you text him “all the time” and try to get him “to be himself again” you’re losing focus. It’s not your job to get him “to be himself again”. And if you’re broken up, you shouldn’t be texting him all the time. It’s been a month since the break up and he hasn’t asked you out since that break up, so you need to take him at his behavior: You’re broken up.

Your choices now are to forget the IPod and consider it a casualty of love and a P.O.W. of the failed relationship. I know you wish you had it back, but it’s healthier for you to move on rather than staying connected emotionally to this guy who doesn’t want you any more, by using getting the IPod back as an excuse. Besides, if you actually do stop contacting him, he may realize what it’s actually like to not have you in his life, since you seem to be contacting him continually since the break up to get the IPod back.

If you prefer, you can always write him a letter documenting all the times you’ve tried to get it back, and asking him to return it to you by a certain date so you don’t have to take him to small claims court to retrieve the item. If that doesn’t work, court is always a way to get the IPod back, but it’s not a recommendation I feel strongly about. I prefer you forget the IPod and move on in your love life.

[Member]

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