[dazzlingbeauty767]

I have been with my boyfriend for 1 yr and 8 months now. When we first got together he was sooo into me that he even used to follow me to the bathroom. Then he dumped me last year on christmas saying he didn’t want a girlfriend. I begged and pleaded wit him not to leave me but he did. I kept contacting him begging him to change his mind but he wouldn’t. Then almost a week later, almost by new years, he begged me to take him back saying he was so wrong he was just stressed by his family and losing me was the worse thing he could have ever done. I took him back. Everything was amazing and great again. However, he got me pregnant like 6 months after that. And honestly ever since then he has turned on me.

Ever since he got me pregnant he started ignoring the phone a whole lot more. He told me he wanted me to get an abortion which enraged me and really hurt me because before he got me pregnant he told me he wanted kids with me. NowhHe claims he not ignoring the phone he just be busy because he has 2 sons already and working. One day he treats me like gold. The next day he ignores me completely. Then when I finally speak to him he again he makes up a really stupid obvious lie on why he ignored the phone. He’s been doing this for a long time now (about 6 months). One day he texted me saying he wasnt happy when i asked him why not he said he didnt know. But then he took back what he said. Then I caught him talking to several other girls and he told one girl he misses her, he cant wait to see her, and he told her that she makes him happy (i found the messgaes in his cell phone). He claims he didnt mean it he was just using her to buy him stuff. Then I caught him telling another girl he was going to buy her shoes for christmas. He said he didnt mean that either he was just flirting.

I dumped him and then he begged me to take him back. Then i caught him talking to the same girl that he said made him happy. He promised he would stop talking to her for real this time. I took him back and he ignores the phone A WHOLE WHOLE LOT! most recently he ignored the phone and said it was because he put his phone down and forgot to pick it back up. some days his mom calls me asking me where he is and he will say he was in the same house as his aunt at the time she just didnt see him (which i dont believe because his mom and aunt talk all the time and if his mom was looking for him im pretty sure his aunt would have said hes at her house).

I don’t understand any of this. When I dump him and stop speaking to him he begs me non stop to take him back and he even said hes willing to stalk me if I dont take him back. But then when I do take him back he treats me like gold for a day then the next day hes back to ignoring the phone for hours and sometimes even a whole day at a time (even without us arguing). I’m so tired of putting up with this. I’ve cried to him (literally) about this and he will hug me and promise to stop and treat me right but then he will turn right around a day later and ignore me all day again with no real explanation why.

i dont know what i did wrong or why he’s not happy with me. I know the obvious answer is leave him but Im almost 7 months pregnant with his child and being single and pregnant hurts! I dont get it he acts like he doesnt care about me (ignoring me all the time) but then when I leave him alone he acts like he is hurt and calls me non stop and he says hes going to stalk to me until i take him back. one time he even called me 85 times in 12 hrs after i dumped him but yet when I take him back hes right back to talking to other girls and ignoring me. i dont know what to do any more. what should I do? I have demanded that he treat me right over and over again but it never lasts long before he is back to ignoring me for no reason and talking to other girls. but im almost 7 months pregnant by him. what do I do???? why does he keep acting like this?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How old are you both?

[dazzlingbeauty767]

Im 24 hes 26

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]i dont know what to do any more. what should I do? [/quote]

You should shift your focus away from the relationship you have (or don’t have) with him, and onto the one you’re about to have with your baby to be. 😉 You’re about to be a single mother with an unplanned pregnancy — you need as much stability in your life as possible. He isn’t offering that to you, so you need to create it for yourself. 🙂 I know that it’s hurtful that someone you want doesn’t want you back — or at least all the time — but being a single mother is a big deal, and you have to accept responsibility for that and start creating a life for yourself and your baby. If you don’t, the problems you’ll have are going to be much worse than what’s going on now, so time for an attitude shift. 😉

As for this man, you don’t have to worry about [i]not[/i] having a relationship with him because you’re both going to be parents, so you will probably have a lifelong relationship with him, now. It may not be a romantic relationship, but hopefully it will be one in which you co-parent. And since he will be in your life forever, now, it’s important for you to work on your part of that relationship.

[quote]I have demanded that he treat me right over and over again but it never lasts long before he is back to ignoring me for no reason and talking to other girls. but im almost 7 months pregnant by him. what do I do???? [/quote]

Stop demanding. A woman who is demanding [i]anything[/i] from a man is not attractive. It’s also inappropriate because the reality is that he doesn’t owe you anything. 😳 You may be having a child together, but you’re not married. His responsibility is to the child — not to you. I know that’s hard to hear, but the sooner you accept it, the sooner you’ll let go of your negative feelings. In addition, demanding anything from anyone is desperate behavior, and as you know, desperation, clinginess, etc. is not what draws a man to a woman — so stop demanding. 😉 You’re both single and free to date others. I realize that the fact that you’re 7 months pregnant, in your eyes, requires a commitment from him, but it’s not how he feels. If you want him, [i]you[/i] have to win him over — not the other way around. 😕 Demanding his attention won’t do that.

[quote]why does he keep acting like this?[/quote]

Because he’s not that interested in you, and he feels trapped by the pregnancy. 😳 His behavior is pretty clear. 😕

I hope that that helps. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but maybe knowing this, and hearing it from me, will help you accept reality and let go of what you can’t control, and focus on what is important. 😉

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[dazzlingbeauty767]

Thanks for your advise but I was confused because when I dump him he begs me to take him back but when i do take him back he ignores me.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m not sure why you’re confused because his behavior is very consistent — you dump him; he begs you to take him back; you do; he ignores you. His isn’t the behavior of someone who is into you, or who wants a real relationship with you. You wish he was different and things were different, so you’re clinging to [i]shreds[/i] of good behavior, and ignoring the bigger picture which includes your demanding he treat you well and his subsequent ignoring you. This is a bad pattern. 😮 😳 I’m suggesting that YOU break it. Don’t look to him to do that, you do it. 🙂

Stop focusing on him, and shift the focus to you and your behavior, which is the one thing in all of this that you can control. 😉 Because he’s all over the place, if you follow his lead, you’ll get more of the same — which isn’t working for you. 🙁 Once you have your baby in a couple of months, this type of dynamic is going to be a lot more difficult for you, and your child will pick up your stress, which isn’t good for him or her. This is the time to change your own life. 😀

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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