[Madcow115]

I have been with my fiance for near on 3 and a half years and he hasn’t had much contact with his ex but now he wants to have contact with her. At the start of the relationship they had some contact but not much and then i’m not sure why but it stopped then September this year they got back in conatct but my fiance stopped contact with her over Christmas because of me. But i then found out that when he went in to town to pick up a birthday card for me he had texted her to meet up with him in town until he had to pick me up from work. In the evening he went to see her and another of his friends. He didn’t tell me any of this until i got it out of him recently. He has told me he saw one of his friends in town and she had asked if he wanted to go around hers and i believed him when he told me. When i found out he saw his ex he didn’t confess to all of it until two weeks later. He says he didn’t tell me because he was scared of losing me. The day after he met up with her she was texting him asking to meet up again he said he was spending time with me but she responded saying that it would still be good to see him as if she expects him to drop everything for her. He didn’t respond to the text.

His ex is currently engaged but that isn’t any comfort due to knowing that she has cheated on her fiancee twice with her friend’s husband who has a child. She told both her fiancee and the friend about it and they both have forgiven her. She has a history of cheating but always gets away with it. My fiance says he isn’t interested in her at all she is just a friend nothing more. I asked him what he would do if she tried it on with him and he just responds that she won’t but then said that he would come back home and not contact her again, then a few weeks later he says that he would explain he’s not interested in her and that he just wants to be friends. He says he doesn’t want her to try anything on and that she’d be stupid if she did.

When they were together they were on and off quite a bit and it never lasted longer than two weeks he found out that she was a player but kept getting back with her and then he told me that while they were togethere she messed with his head. His ex is bisexual and her fiancee is a women but she cheats with men so it seems like her fiancee isn’t enough for her. But when they weren’t dating he says she was a good friend and helped him through some bad times. He has told me about the bad times but any friend would do that for there friend. They had stopped dating two years before we meet. So would they have got back together if they had feelings? Or are they likely to gain feelings for each other? My fiance says she is happy with her fiancee but if she was she wouldn’t have cheated right?

His ex moved away to live with her fiancee but told my fiance that she is moving back down because she misses her family. I feel that this is going to make things worse because she will always be wanting to meet up with him and will always text him. He says she isn’t interested in him but he said to me that she would dump her fiancee if she could get back with him. But if he thinks that and wanted to be with her he would have acted on that?

My fiance hasn’t given me any reason not to trust him, i just don’t trust her knowing that she has cheated on someone she apparently loves. I just can’t stop myself looking at his phone to see if i can find signs of cheating but i never do. She texted him not long ago saying not to ignore her and text back so he got curious and responded but all she wanted to find out is how he was and then he stopped texting her. Is she playing games or trying to ruin things between us?

We had had 2 arguements the past couple of days over this and both times we have been very close to splitting up and that isn’t what either of us want but we keep hurting each other. We have decided this is the last chance of me trying to accept it and if i can’t then thats the end of us. So i would like your opinion on whether you think it’s all as innocent as he says and that he isn’t interested in her in that way and just wants to be friends? If it is all innocent then any ideas on how to accept it. This is is making the atmosphere at home horrible and we don’t want his mum or little sister becoming involved as we live with them. We had our future planned out but that is all on hold because of this. He doesn’t want to give up a friend and i don’t want to make him if it really is like he says but i just don’t want the risk of him falling for her again.

I love him and can’t loose him. Is it innocent? Is she likely to try and ruin this for us? Is friendship what she wants? He says it wouldn’t be a good idea me meeting her because weof her being an ex

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re fooling yourself. 😳 Clearly he’s given you reason to distrust him. In fact you wrote that you only found out he was seeing his ex-girlfriend after you “got it out of him” because he wasn’t forthcoming in disclosing their meet up. 🙄

Pay attention to a man’s behavior — that speaks volumes over his words! He’s been engaged to you for three years; you have no wedding date, and you’re both living with his mother? 😯 And now he’s seeing his ex-girlfriend and keeping in contact with her on the phone and by text as well as in person, multiple times without you — and he’s telling you YOU have to accept their relationship (from which you’re excluded!). 😮 This is not a guy who is ready to marry you or be committed to you. He’s looking for excitement — and a way out of a relationship rut he’s in — and he’s getting those needs fulfilled with his ex! 😕

This man doesn’t feel you’re a prize — if he did, he’d treat you like one. My suggestion is to move out and move on. You can CLEARLY do better than this relationship you’re stuck in. Your fiance’s ex-girlfriend has a strong history of cheating, and he’s pretty much doing the same right in front of you (if they haven’t had sex together yet, they will). Are you waiting for a neon sign to tell you this isn’t Mr. Right?

I’m sorry to be so harsh, but it’s a shame to waste any more of your valuable time on this guy when there is SURELY a real Mr. Right out there. Get my book, Think & Date Like A Man, and read it! Here’s the link for the automatic download so you can start reading tonight: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url].

I hope that helps. I know you have a lot to think about — and do! I hope you’ll also follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Madcow115]

He says he wouldn’t go back there and says he’s not the sort of person to cheat and i trusted him up until the point that i found out he went behind me back. So when he said he kept it from me because he was scared of loosing me was just an excuse.

Doesn’t the way he look at me say he loves me? He always says he loves me. Is it a front? Why would he have proposed to me if he didn’t want me? He proposed in October after he was back in contact with her but hadn’t met up with her. He has always said she looks like a rat and says she has poor hygiene but if that is the case would he cheat? He says he wants to see his other friends more than her. We are currently saving for a house before we were going to set the date.

The fact he’s ignoring some of her texts still doesn’t make it innocent?

Thanks for your advice i just don’t understand men why say something but not mean it?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re making excuses for his behavior (and your own) because you don’t want to do the right thing! First of all, [i]get the book I suggested![/i] It’s called Think & Date Like A Man, and you can download it here [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url] or buy it on the websites for Barnes & Noble and Amazon. Second, [b]read it!! [/b]It’s going to go into a lot of detail and help you find a man to marry and explain to you why this guy is Mr. Wrong.

If you want a committed relationship that will lead to marriage, you’d do better dating a man who’s READY to be married. This guy is not. Three years of an engagement with no date in sight, and the excuse of saving up to buy a house is bunch of baloney — especially since he’s seeing his ex-girlfriend without you!

Your moving in with him and his mother and little sister was not a good idea for you.

He doesn’t want to let you go, but [i]he’s never going to treat you well.[/i] Men do things because they can. It’s your job to decide what you want and go for it. If you’re willing to settle for “the look in his eyes” when he says he loves you, while living with his mom and waiting for him to come home from dinner with his ex, I can’t help you. 😳

I hope you’ll get Think & Date LIke A Man [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]— for your sake!

[Madcow115]

We haven’t been engaged for 3 years its only been 6 months. He hasn’t spoken to his ex or seen her for a while now so can’t that be a good thing and he is always telling me that he’s got all he wants and that i’m all he needs. I’ve always thought he was Mr Right but i guess i’ll get your book when payday comes around and she why he’s not. We are only in our 20’s so that why we live with his mum. Can men really just be friends with females or ex’s or is that just an excuse to go and sleep with them?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I hope you’ll re-read my advice and decide you want more in your life!

Sorry, but you shouldn’t be living with him and his mother and little sister “because you’re only in your 20s”. 😯 Read Think & Date Like A Man, and you’ll see why this is a mistake if you want a man to commit to you. If you want a man to marry you, then you have to choose one who’s READY to marry you. If after three years of dating and six months of being engaged, he’s moved you in with his mother — and his sister — he’s not ready. 😳 Here’s the link for the book, again: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. 😀 Read it!

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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