[nermeen]

So, this great guy finally gets the guts to ask me out (after over a month of talking), and I said I didn’t mind, we’ll meet for 3 days on a row cause he travels so often.

Anyway, he’s like the wisest guy I’ve ever met, and I don’t wanna screw it up with him, I don’t know how I should act (just being myself isn’t an advice by the way).

I don’t want to give a wrong impression of myself at all, but I want to come off charming, what are the rules of dating? I’m really bad at dating.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Well, that’s a great question — so great I’ve written a book on the topic!

However, first things first. You say you’re terrible at dating… If this is true and you haven’t already done so, I strongly recommend that you pick up my book [b]Think & Date Like A Man [/b](you can get it right here on AskApril.com or in any local book store or online bookseller.) — then read it and live it! You will never feel like you are bad at dating again!

In the meantime, I will address your question about First Dates.

#1 – Everyone, and especially men, love to talk about themselves and their accomplishments. Use the first date to find out as much as you can about him… his accomplishments, his family, sports he likes, etc. Try to [b]focus in on traits and qualities that make him unique. [/b]

NOTE: Anything unique you can compliment him on will be greatly appreciated as men rarely receive compliments.

In short, ask him about him and he will think you’re the most interesting, most charming and best conversationalist he’s ever met. (There will be plenty of time for him to learn about you on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th dates.)

#2 – Never speak badly about your ex. While few will admit it this is a red flag… Most guys will assume that you’ll say bad things about them should it “not work out”. If he asks you about your ex, try to think of something nice to say. If you can’t, tell him you’ll discuss you ex later… you’re more interested in getting to know him.

#3 – No sex on the first date. Why not? Because if you have sex on the first date (or before there

[mulattoman]

For most men, sex on the first date means you’re too easy. No real challenge. NEXT!
Get the picture?
It also means “wow she’s done it with me so easy, Lord knows who else!”
Last but definitely not least, the loss of respect. Why call you in the morning?

Then you have the men who want sex on the first date, and if they don’t get it, they move on.
You have to take a chance and just be you. Not try to make them happy and go against what you would normally do.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

I am here to help, and happy to answer any questions you have. 😀

[Natalie Noah]

Your excitement and nervousness it’s completely normal when you really like someone and want to make a great impression. What stands out is that you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself to “come off charming” and avoid mistakes, but what April is pointing out is key: the first date is less about impressing him with who you are and more about showing genuine curiosity about him. Men, especially those who are confident and self-aware, respond positively to someone who listens, asks thoughtful questions, and notices the little details that make them unique. Compliments that are specific to his personality or achievements will naturally make you seem engaging without feeling forced.

Another important point is to maintain boundaries and pace the relationship. Avoid talking negatively about exes or oversharing too soon, because early red flags can create unnecessary tension. Similarly, holding off on sexual intimacy reinforces respect and allows emotional connection to build gradually. This isn’t about playing games. it’s about establishing a healthy rhythm where both of you can learn about each other comfortably, without rushing or oversharing.

Your charm comes from confidence in yourself and the ability to enjoy the experience rather than control it. Let curiosity guide you, laugh naturally, and pay attention to the dynamics between you two. By showing interest in him and maintaining your own standards and boundaries, you’ll naturally come across as both attractive and sincere. Trust that being thoughtful and engaged will speak far louder than any “rules” or rehearsed behaviors.

[Member]

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