"April Mașini answers questions no one else can and tells you the truth that no one else will."

I Bee-Lieve

first love revisited

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  • #3110
    lileeyore
    Member #26,183

    Hi April,
    I really need some advice. here goes I have been in love with my best friend since I was 11 years old . From that time we have went though many different stages of friends/dating I even lived in his family home for a while. When I was 13 we started dating he was my first boyfriend, first date and first kiss but thats as far as we went we dated for several months until my family moved away. Then when I turns 15 I moved back to the same town right around the corner from him. And for the next couple years we were on again off again until I met and got pregnant by the man who became my first husband. We kinda went our separate ways seeing each other only at family gatherings and holidays. He finally met and married his wife. That was 24 years ago.
    So now thats our history now on to the present about 6 months ago we reconnected and since that time we have talked on the computer and on the phone several times a day for several hours at a time. he has told me he has feeling for me and has thought about being with me over the years, And now he wants to see where it will take us. His job keeps him away from home and his wife 4-5 days a week I have seen for myself that his relationship with his wife is not very good and several people have stated she is just using him as a meal ticket . But if I bring up anything he just blows it off. well for several weeks now we have decided to meet somewhere and take our relationship to the next level. This is where I need the advice with him being married should I take that step or not ?

    #16842
    Ask April Masini
    Keymaster

    My advice is not to take that next step because there’s nothing in it for you if you want a committed, monogamous relationship that will lead to marriage. 😕 You can tell him that if he gets divorced, you’d be more than happy to date him, but right now, you don’t want to be the woman on the side.

    In addition, remember that a man’s behavior will show you a lot about his character, and he is lying to his wife. The person on the other end of those lies will one day be you, too — if you’re not already. You may justify your entertaining this relationship because YOU think he has a bad relationship with his wife, but only he and she know what happens in their marriage. He’s going to tell you what he thinks you want to hear in order to get you to sleep with him.

    Sometimes old family friends fly under the radar because you think you know them based on a past history. Imagine if you just met this guy yesterday, and he started to pursue you, but was married. I bet you’d walk away quickly.

    Give yourself what you deserve — a potential Mr. Right who is AVAILABLE to be that man for you! 😉

    I hope that helps.

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