[Anonymous]

hi,
My name is Steven, and I study abroad. during my studies abroad, I meet a lot of exchange students that are here for a year. I met a girl who has a boyfriend back home in England, and because of that, I never tried to do anything with her until last week where we both on a night out confessed we had feelings for each other and started making out, but I had to leave earlier because a friend that was visiting had a flight in the morning. after that night, we talk like nothing happened. sometimes in the conversation there is a reference to the night, but we don’t talk about how we feel and I’m afraid to bring it up because she talks to her boyfriend back home like everyday.
another thing is that when we are alone and we are talking, that we usually can’t stop talking to each other until something happens that ends the conversation ( like a meeting one of us has to go to, things like that) and all our friends saw us as well and keep making awkward jokes about it.
basically what I need is advice on whether I should tell her how I feel or not, because she has a boyfriend back home and I don’t want to make it awkward between us since we share the same friends.
please, what do I do?

regards, Steven

[Ask April Masini]

I never recommend having “the talk” or having “a relationship talk”. Instead, decide what YOU want, and if you want to pursue her, then do so. It’s that simple. You can invite her to do things with you. You can ask her out on a date. You can hold hands, kiss her — you get the picture.

If you really feel it’s wrong, then don’t do any of it, but if you want to compete for her affections and explore a relationship together, then you should go for it!

I hope that helps.

See you on Facebook [url][/url] and follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter. 😀

[Anonymous]

ok, thank you April. that is basically what I’ve been doing now. the thing is that i she is the one that said it was wrong when it happened.

also the thing is that we sometimes joke about it as if its something ordinary that happened.

well tomorrow is her birthday party, so I will see what i can do

thank you,
Steven

[Ask April Masini]

Re-read my first post to you. The advice was about YOU not her. If YOU want to pursue this, then you should. If she wants to decline your invitation, then you know where you stand, but unless you ask her out, you’ll be in limbo.

[Anonymous]

thank you April. I went for her, and now were dating, but she is still together with her boyfriend back home. she told me she will break up with him when she goes back over the winter, but I have a hard time believing it because she tried to break up with him last month over skype but she didn’t because he asked her not to leave her.
because she is still with him, she keeps feeling guilty and i can tell its eating her up inside. she told him she has feelings for me, and he knows something is up, but she doesn’t feel that breaking up on the phone is the right thing to do.

should I wait for her to break up with him or not?

by the way, other than the fact that we don’t have sex because she’s feeling guilty, we do act like a real couple and stay over at each others places.

[Ask April Masini]

You’ve only been dating a few weeks, so it’s too soon to start pressuring her to break up with her boyfriend back home, but you should also take note of her character. Dating someone is an opportunity to get to know them, enjoy their company and decide if you have a future together. Talk about multi-tasking! 😆

If she continues to withhold sex with you because it’s something she keeps specially for her other man, then you’ll see that what you have is a situation where you’re not her number one guy. It’s fine for her to date you and decide if you’re someone she wants to break up with her boyfriend for, but at a certain point, if she doesn’t, you’ll have to accept that you may not be Mr. Right for her — and vice verse.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter, and on Facebook: [url][/url].

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