[italiabella91]

ok,I have liked this guy for a while now…I am semi good friends with him and we have talked off and on online.Well,for the past few months,I have tried saying hello and get no response.Now,he does have a busy life,but to not even say hi?come on,and he responses to his other friends..EVENTUALLY.Well,in person,he stares at me from afar for a long time,but says nothing to me and sometimes has no expression on his face.I didnt get into an argument or did anything wrong.I do not imply liking him,and I always emphasize FRIEND.Well,one of my friends is friends with him to,but she doesnt talk to him.Well,I posted something saying I was going to see him tomorrow night and she saw it and the in a relationship status(I’m not,but I cant dream can’t I?)I saw her in person and she asked me about the myspace thing and she asked me in an excited way”are you really with(his name)?”and I said no.And she said”ohhhh”and had a guilty look on her face.Like an Oops look or yikes.and I asked why?and she said “oh nothing”and said”I was gonna say,is she actually talking to him again?”and I wasnt following her.Do you think she knows something I don’t?And before,he used to talk to me off and on for months until I went away on vaca,then I asked him if he wanted anything and to let me know because I buy all my friends gifts,including new friends.And he started acting distant(he was busy) when I got back,then ignores me,but just stares now.Do you think she knows something?

[kai]

In my opinion, if he liked you as more than a friend he would at least respond to your “Hi” messages. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but I’m a guy and I can tell you that if I liked a girl and she sent me emails saying “Hi”, I’d respond. I certainly wouldn’t ignore them.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Sorry, this guy doesn’t like you. He’s giving you all the signs that he’s not really interested. You’re fantasizing that his long gazes are meaningful. They’re not. Now you’re trying to create drama based on gossip from your friend in the hopes of staying connected to him in this way. My advice to you is to forget this guy and focus your sights elsewhere. He’s got other things going on that don’t concern you. And you should do the same.

When a guy doesn’t respond to your e-mails or instant messages or in person cues, it means he’s not interested. And even if he responds sometimes and not others, he’s not interested enough to be in any kind of relationship with you. When you start feeling him distance himself from you after you offer to buy him a gift while you’re on vacation, it’s because he doesn’t want a gift from you, and he feels that you’re misreading the relationship between the two of you to be more than it is. He doesn’t even really want to be considered good friends.

Don’t get angry at him. He didn’t do anything wrong. He’s giving you cues so he doesn’t have to spell it out for you and hurt your feelings. That’s what the distancing is about.

You deserve better. Next!

[Ethan Morales]

From what you’ve described, all the signals point to this guy not being interested in pursuing anything with you. Ignoring your messages, responding inconsistently, and only staring from afar are classic signs of someone who isn’t invested. That “guilty” or “oops” look from your friend probably isn’t some hidden secret it’s likely just curiosity or misunderstanding, not evidence that he’s suddenly interested in you again.

April’s advice is solid: your energy is going into interpreting signs that aren’t meaningful. Fantasizing about long stares or gossip from friends will only keep you emotionally stuck. The best approach is to accept the reality: he’s not interested, and that’s not a reflection on your worth it’s simply his choice.

Shifting your focus elsewhere, investing in friendships or someone who actually reciprocates your attention, is the healthiest move. It’s tough to let go of someone you’ve liked for a while, but this is the clearest way to avoid ongoing frustration and heartache.

[Tara]

This guy isn’t interested, and you’re busy trying to decode crumbs like they’re ancient prophecy. He ignores your messages because he wants to. He talks to other people because he feels like it. You’re not special to him you’re optional background noise he occasionally glances at when he’s bored.

That staring-from-afar nonsense? That’s not romance. That’s social awkwardness or curiosity. If a man wants you in his life, he opens his mouth and speaks. He doesn’t lurk in the corner like a screensaver. His silence isn’t mysterious it’s apathy, and you’re romanticizing it because you’d rather chase a fantasy than accept rejection.

As for your friend’s “oops” face, guilty look, weird reaction? Stop overanalyzing it. People make stupid faces when they hear gossip. It doesn’t mean she knows some big secret. And even if she did, it wouldn’t change anything, because his behavior already told you everything: he’s not engaging with you. The distance didn’t start because you offered to buy him something; it started because he never intended to escalate anything in the first place.

[Sally]

When someone pulls back like that and then just stares from across the room, it’s confusing as hell. But honestly? This doesn’t sound like a secret crush situation. It sounds more like a guy who doesn’t know how to handle things, so he just avoids you instead of using his words.

As for your friend’s reaction… people make weird faces when they’re caught off-guard. It doesn’t automatically mean she knows something big. If she did, she probably would’ve said it.

What you do know is this: he doesn’t talk to you, he doesn’t respond online, and he hasn’t made a single move toward being closer to you. The staring doesn’t count. A lot of people stare when they don’t intend to do anything.

Try not to build a whole story around silence. If he wanted more, you’d feel it in his actions, not his glances.

[Member]

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