[Twin Flame]

Hello April,

My girlfriend recntly broke up with me after 8 months I am heart broken, I know it’s not long but the feelings I have are beyond belief. I am thinking of writing a letter to her but I wanted to talk about it first. It was like I had met my soulmate; we poured our souls into each other and time was lost when we were together. She felt so strongly she had words tattooed into her skin in reference to me (so she says).

We split around 10 weeks ago and since that day I have taken time to reflect on the relationship and the mistakes I made, I left too much distance between us and left her alone for too many nights. There were ex issues for her part and court etc so I was a little scared so I kept in the back ground.

I knew the split was coming and when she emailed me (she sais it was too hard to do in person) to say she needed me to step back from her life I did so. Giving her 100% space and respecting her decision.

She contacted me around two weeks later to say she had won her court case but I was not ready to talk; she contacted me again the following week asking when we were last intimate as she was having some minor surgery and the doctors wanted to know. I explained I could not remember.

We met the following week as she had a jumper of mine my mom gave me which I wanted back but I admit I used it as an excuse to see her but she was more than willing. We chatted about general stuff and she commented on how well I looked, she was playful and smiling.

I made my excuses after about 15 minutes and headed for the store; when I got there I was walking inside and I saw her pull up and follow me inside. She followed me round the store and we talked some more. I asked her there was anything she had not said or done as she will probably never see me again she just replied “don’t say things like that”.

I fell back in love right there and then.

She emailed me 10 days or so later at 01:30 to ask for her medical card relating to her epilepsy; which I returned via post with no message.

When she received it two weeks ago she emailed me from a joint account we shared and she asked if I have went to the email where all our thoughts and feelings are saved. I just said I stopped when I knew her feelings had changed and asked her why she had gone there. She just responded “I don’t know why.. perhaps I should not have..”

That is the last time I have heard from her. I feel it’s unfair that she is contacting me for no real reason but I am not playing games as I am getting on with my life.

I have my self-respect and I hold myself is great esteem and I won’t contact her as she asked me to step back from her life (I promised I would) and she has done nothing to change that. I still love her so dearly but I am being strong and I know in time my heart will mend. I am dusting myself down and straightening myself out and although I may well always love her; when I am ready I will love with everything I have left.

I guess the reason for my post is trying to make sense of her contacting me; they are all non specific reasons so I just put it down to her probably being unsure about things but without something to go on I am not willing to risk my heart no more.

Any advice you have on why she may be doing this would be great.

Kind regards

TF

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You seem to have a pretty good handle on things, even though they’re hurtful. Do you have a specific question?

[Twin Flame]

Hi April,

I am trying to understand why she is contacting me. Do you think she is just keeping me on a string?

I am moving forward and although I want her back in my life I won’t beg or plead, I made my feelings perfectly clear before we split so she knows them.

Do you feel I should just leave her to her devices and get on with my life until the point comes when she says what’s on her mind or should I be proactive in trying to understand why she is contacting me?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I don’t think you should be proactive in finding out why she is contacting you. I think that you should be proactive about your behavior — not hers. In other words, if you want her back, then you need to make that clear. If you want to move on, then you have to do that. Focusing on her behavior is less important on focusing on your own and what you want. 😉

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