[HotAndCold]

We’re both in our early 20’s, me being a little older. Shes got a daughter that is 3 years old and has an okay relationship with the father, who is married with someone else already. She just recently, a month or two ago, got out of a relationship with some guy she was seeing for 6 or 7 months where she’d confide some issues with me that they’d have, and I’d give my perspective and advice.

As for myself, I had been casually seeing the same girl for over a year. We tried dating but I saw a side of her I didn’t like and stopped the relationship, but we continued messing around for a while. She still had deep feelings for me, but I didn’t. I ended up breaking whatever we had going on about two weeks ago. My last serious relationship ended about 3 years ago and I told myself I wasn’t going to get into another one for a while, but I’m starting to feel like it might be to time to give things another try.

We work in a small store together and have been for a handful of months now and only see eachother at work, which at the moment is one or two days of the week. Whenever we work together, there’s always been some kind of flirtiness going on. She’d catch me staring at her while she’s doing something and she’d stare back and we’d both just laugh and smile and look away. We both tease eachother a lot about stuff, we just enjoy being around eachother during work. Sometimes she would come in for an hour or so when she isn’t working just to talk. I’ve also stopped by during her shifts to do the same.

We’ve had eachothers phone numbers for a while and always texted casually, but when I started breaking off this thing with that girl I mentioned earlier (and her thing was over with as well) – I feel like her interest level started going through the roof. For about a week, we were texting constantly after work. Talking for hours into the middle of the night.

Work started getting more flirty too. She started asking for massages, and of course I’m down for that! Neck massages turned to back massages, turned to lower back, turned to leg and thigh massages – over the course of a few days. If she was walking in front of me sometimes she would stop so I’d press up against her. The texts also got much flirtier. She would send kissy faces and other stuff. When I’d ask her in a playful way if she enjoyed when i was touching her X or giving her Y massage, she wouldn’t directly come out and say yes, but would always be like ‘Maybe…” – that kind of attitude. Like she is being coy, or doesn’t want to admit it.

Anyways one night we were working alone and we had been talking about how I wanted her to stay a little later with me after we closed so I didn’t need to worry about customers coming into the store. In our texts it was a bit obvious that I was probably going to make a move on her that night. She’d say things like “we can’t do anything at work” and “it’s dangerous” etc etc – but when she walked in the back I grabbed her from behind and leaned against her and just started pulling her hips into me and kissing her neck for five minutes. She was pushing her hips back into me, so I know it couldn’t have just been a one sided thing here.

It’s been a couple days since that happened. We’ve worked once together for a few hours, but we weren’t alone, but it feels like something is a little different. At least with the rampant texts. They stopped going through the night, which is fine, it just felt odd to change since that night. I know she had some drama she had to handle with one of her best friends so I’m chalking it up to that but I’ve truly been a little nervous and I’m not sure why.

I do like this girl, at least what I know of her so far. Oddly enough, the thought of dating someone with a child has always been a big ‘NO’ for me, but with this girl I feel as if I’d be willing to set that aside because she has so many other checkmarks in what I’m looking for. I suppose me getting older also means that this thing isn’t as scary as it seems either. What do you guys think? I feel like I should give it more time and see how things play out before I ask her out. Maybe see if she’s still into the massages and flirting.

I’m just worried about a few things: 1. We work directly with one another a day or two out of the week, sometimes more depending on the schedule so that would create an interesting dynamic based on how ANY of this plays out and 2. I feel like I’m developing some feels here and don’t want to jump the gun, but I know we both just kinda got out of some stuff. 3. Maybe she knows how much I’m into her and she’s just enjoying it and is playing along. She did tell me the other day (happened before the kissing incident) about how one guy/customer in particular that came into work was so sexy that he could’ve just asked her out on the spot and she would have gone with him. (I feel like if she was somewhat interested in me you wouldn’t be telling me that, at least it feels a little confusing to hear. On the other hand she’s single so..)

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Ask her out on a date and see how things go. Making out at the office is different than showing her you’re interested in a relationship. Decide what you want to do and then go for it. Of course, as you know, there’s no way around the possibilities for awkwardness when you date someone you work with, but you seem to understand that risk, so….. invite her to dinner. 😉

[HotAndCold]

Our schedules are really crappy for a bit, until the beginning of May. She works late M, W, F, Sat, and I work late the Tu, Thur, Sat. We both work sundays but get out around 5, that may be a possibility. The schedule makes it really difficult to have a dinner date. Then that isn’t taking into account any other responsibilities she may have with her child.

Nonetheless, I did tell her I wanted to take her out to dinner, but that I know our work schedules were pretty difficult to work around, and that her childs schedule was something else to consider. So while we don’t have a set date in stone, at least she knows I’d like to take her out.

I could bring by some food at the end of her work shift one of the days she closes.

I’m just baffled by how flirty and touchy everything was going and suddenly when I acted upon it, and in the moment she was receptive and in texts later that day she didn’t seem to mind….yet her behavior changed. Perhaps she realized things were moving way too quick and wanted to pump the brakes? Is this a topic I should even bother trying to get to the bottom of or just brush it off?

I think I’m going to wait a week or so and just see what happens, perhaps downplay things and take it easy but i’m a bit all over the place. I guess due to scheduling issues if a dinner date has to postponed for a month…should I be changing my flirty behavior with her at work? We still talk and goof around like normal, she’s just not doing the heavy flirting like she once was. Is it worth mentioning her change in behavior or is that a big nono? She is still asking me for massages when no one is around though, should I even bother with that still?

Thank you so much

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It doesn’t sound like you took my advice…. did you ask her out on a date?

[HotAndCold]

[quote=”April Masini”]It doesn’t sound like you took my advice…. did you ask her out on a date?[/quote]
I apologize if I didnt make that clear. I did ask her out to dinner, but as I said..our schedules are really conflicting right now im not sure if we can find a night we both can do it until may. And she did say yes, but also said she wasnt sure when because of how our current schedule situation is.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Pick a date — and a time. Make it a real date. Not a “we’ll see in May” thing. You need a date on the book for both of you to look forward. That will give the flirting some meaning. 😎

[Member]

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