[s277051]

Hello! I started dating this guy about a month ago. He lives 40 minutes away so its hard to see each other but we text everyday, pretty much all day. I have been sick of the bad boy type and he knda gave me that impression first but he said he was a reform bad boy and was actually a good guy. After getting to know him a little he really seemed like it. He started talking about moving in together and getting married and having a baby when we get older, and just kept talking about the future. That stuff would usually scare me off but it just felt right. He had a myspace and after a weekend of dating he deleted it. I asked him why and he said i dont need it anymore, i have you. I slept with him for the first time this weekend and the sex was great, but now he is acting different. He just isn’t texting me as much. Its only been a day and he works at night bartending so I know he can be busy. Am i being crazy? Did he just say all of those things about our future to get me to sleep with him? Should I confront him about it or just assume he’s busy working? Thanks!!!

[mary1389]

if it’s only been a day give him some time, see how this week goes and decide where to go from there. if his behavior is dramatically different, don’t be afraid to ask him why. good luck

[zack]

One of my girlfriends friends had a situation here she thought he was cheating. I was the only person that said he could have been busy and it ended up he was whn everyone else thought he could be. However I am not saying he isnt doing these things, but if yo honestly believe he loves you then you could contront him. Honest love should have no problem saying things to each other no matter what it is. Though I do remember one time I thought my girlfrind wa cheating on me. I just never really trusted her at this point cause she didnt fully trust me. Though after I found out she actually wasnt when I thought she might and figured things out I felt horrible. Just becareful what you do. Its no wrong to find out, but just be careful cause if he isnt or even if he is you can feel bad for doubting him. Though if I were you I would just ask directly, that is just me,talk to him easy about it, well that is the honorable way to. You could just ask his friends and or follow hm, hidden camra’s do good.

[anonymouse2843]

[quote=”s277051″]I slept with him for the first time this weekend and the sex was great, but now he is acting different. He just isn’t texting me as much. Its only been a day and he works at night bartending so I know he can be busy.[/quote]

I’m a guy. Please take this wake-up call. He’s a bartender? Acting different since sleeping with you? All warning signs. Don’t count on this guy. Bar tenders are notorious for having wandering eyes. It’s in their profession – imagine meeting so many people every night. As for behaving different: Sex is a BIG motivator for guys. It’s not the only thing, but a guy will do almost anything to get someone in bed. It blinds us. After the sex, a guy will start to think a bit more with his head than he does his dick. If he is suddenly very different after having sex, then the chances are he might not / probably isn’t that in to you.

Girls can be complex to read. Guys are straight forward. Please don’t believe this ‘I’m busy’ bullsh*t. If he likes you, he’ll make it obvious. Being busy doesn’t factor into it.

I wish it wasn’t the case. Sorry 😳

[April Masini, your AskApril]

What great advice you’re getting without me!! 😆

Since you only slept with him this weekend, and by Sunday you’re concerned that he’s not texting “as much” as usual, I’d NORMALLY urge you to relax. However, Anonymouse2843 gave you a great guy perspective that should put you on warning. And you yourself are ignoring your own tip off that he’s a “reformed bad boy”. Hmmmm….. when you date a reformed bad boy you put yourself at some risk. Your brain should tell you that you really don’t know this guy all that well quite yet, and with a “former” player background, choosing a man who is a bartender as Mr. Right may not be prudent.

Decide if you really do want Mr. Right. If you do, download and read my book, Think & Date Like A Man, here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. Read it, and focus on choosing someone who will give you what you want.

[s277051]

Thanks for all the help everyone! I texted him last night and got nothing back and then this morning and he text me and said “hey funeral stuff”. I dont want to be a bad person and accuse him of lying, but this kinda seems made up and just an excuse. Thats all he said and I asked whose funeral it was and he never responded. I’m pretty sure now that he just wanted to sleep with me. When we talked about sex first I told him i wanted to wait for awhile and he said he wanted to respect my choice but he wasn’t going anywhere. And i told him that I didn’t know if I believed him and he said “I want to live with you, why would I leave you?” I knew guys would say alot of crap to get a girl in bed but i never knew they would go to so much trouble to text them everyday and talk about their future and having kids. I feel so stupid…..

Thanks again…..

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Don’t feel stupid — you’re learning. But remember this lesson and use it in the rest of your life. You should also, really, truly pick up my book about dating that’s written for women. It’s a quick read and it’s only $15.95 and you can download it immediately at this link: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url].

Let me know if any of the advice in the book rings true for you — [i]I think it will![/i]

[Ethan Morales]

Understandably, you’re feeling uneasy, but a day of less texting isn’t necessarily a red flag. He works nights and just had a big emotional and physical step with you over the weekend. It’s normal for him to need a little space to reset. That said, the speed at which he was talking about marriage, babies, and moving in is worth noting it’s intense for only a month of dating. It could be genuine excitement, or it could be an attempt to accelerate intimacy and emotional attachment.

Because he’s new in your life and has a “reformed bad boy” background, it’s wise to pace yourself. Observe his consistency over time rather than reacting to one day of less texting. Don’t overanalyse every message or lack thereof, but do pay attention to patterns: does he follow through on his words with actions?

At this stage, there’s no need to confront him aggressively; you can gently check in if the quietness continues, but mostly, give him a little space and watch how he balances words with consistent effort. Trust your instincts, but keep your heart protected while you get to know him better.

[Natalie Noah]

You went into this relationship with an open heart, trusting his words about the future, and then suddenly you’re met with silence and vague excuses. It’s natural to feel insecure or suspicious especially when he’s acting so differently after being intimate for the first time. One thing that stands out is that this shift happened almost immediately after sex, which is a red flag. His behavior deleting social media, promising future plans, and then pulling back is classic “fast forward” behavior. It can feel like love and commitment, but it’s often more about creating emotional momentum to get what he wants in the short term.

At the same time, you’ve only known him a month. Even if he says he’s a “reformed bad boy,” that doesn’t erase patterns from the past or guarantee consistency. Your intuition is already telling you that something feels off, and that’s your best guide right now. He could genuinely be busy with work or life, but the lack of clarity and accountability like not responding when you asked about the funeral is concerning. My advice? Protect your heart and slow things down. You don’t owe him trust or blind belief just yet, especially when his actions don’t match his words. Pay attention to patterns, not promises, and remember: you deserve someone whose actions consistently show care and respect, not just someone who knows how to talk a good game.

[Tara]

You didn’t meet a “reformed bad boy.” You met a guy who knows exactly how to talk like a committed boyfriend long enough to get what he wants. He fed you a full buffet of future-fantasy nonsense, moving in, marriage, and babies after a week. That’s not romance. That’s strategy. Men don’t plan their entire life with someone they barely know unless they’re selling something. And what he was selling was the illusion of forever to get you into bed faster.

Then the moment he slept with you, the performance stopped. Not a slow fade an immediate drop in effort. And yes, that’s the neon sign you’re pretending not to see. If he wanted you the way he claimed, his energy wouldn’t evaporate the second the chase was over. Bartending isn’t a reason to suddenly text less. Busy men who care still show consistency. Men who got what they wanted don’t.

You’re not “being crazy.” You’re being willfully blind because you want the fantasy to be real. You want to believe his words meant something. But they didn’t. They were leveraging.

And no, you don’t “confront” him. You don’t beg for reassurance. You don’t ask him to explain the obvious. When a man’s actions contradict his words, you believe the actions. He’s already telling you your value to him, and it’s nowhere near what he sold you.

[Sally]

Guys who talk about marriage and babies in the first month usually aren’t planning a future they’re trying to fast-track intimacy. It feels sweet, but it’s really just a way to hurry things along.

And the sudden silence after sex? That’s the part that tells the truth. When a man is genuinely into you, sleeping together pulls him closer, not farther. One day of slow texting isn’t a crime… but the shift in his energy matters. You felt it for a reason.

Don’t confront him. Just watch what he does next. If he keeps drifting, that’s your answer. If he shows up like before, then maybe he really was just busy.
Either way, don’t twist yourself into knots. Let his actions tell you who he is.

[Member]

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