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Ethan Morales.
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October 22, 2008 at 7:37 pm #786
odhgabfe
Member #80Well I just returned to school in a state 4 hours from home. Before I went away I had a girlfriend of 2 years and we loved each other (but what do I know I’m only 18). We decided to try and take a slow, steady breakoff before I left, which went very smoothly. However, for the frst month of class, we were both on the fence of whether or not we should try a long distance thing, which has been solved by today. we both decided to give oursleves more time to move on. During this initial month or two or uncertainty, I met this girl in one or two of my classes who I think is very attractive, and she has given me some signs, such as prolonged eye contact, frequent looks my way, preening, exposing neck, the basic flirting stuff. So I know she at least HAD some interest.
But during this time, like I said, I had a few distractions coming from back home, and I could not bring myslef to approach this new girl.
Then, about two days after I officially became a free man, one my ex’s close friends started hitting on me, causing a whole bunch of drama that lasted about two more weeks, and still goes on now between her and my ex. But that is a whole other long story. What matters is that it set up a whole other wave of distraction that kept me from approaching this girl, I can’t explain why it all affected me the way it did.
Anyway, now that I have been female drama free for about a week, I really want to approach this girl. But over the weeks, it seems her flirting signs have started to wane a bit. I mean she still glances over at me, but not at the same amount as before. So now I am affraid this is a sign of her losing interest in me. I am afraid that she is building this mindest that I am afraid to approach her. But she doesn’t know about the distractions I have had to deal with until recent.
So, I am sure it varies amongst women, but does it seem to you that I have in fact put it off for too long? Does she think I am weak and intimidated? Like I said, I’ve been off my game for 2 years, which is almost half the time I’ve even been into girls. So, needless to say, I’m a bit rusty.
October 22, 2008 at 10:59 pm #8594
Ask April MasiniKeymasterWell, what are you waiting for? The time has come, and you have to make your move. Walk over to her and ask her out! By doing so, she will be on the spot, but that November 3, 2025 at 7:52 pm #47392
Ethan MoralesMember #382,560You’re overthinking this, man. I get why, you’re coming off a breakup, you’ve had drama with your ex and her friends, and your confidence is a little rattled. But from where I’m sitting, this is exactly the moment where you either step up or let hesitation run the show.
April’s advice is spot-on: you’ve waited long enough, now it’s time to act. Flirting signals fade because energy fades. Attraction isn’t static; it’s like a fire that needs oxygen. When you don’t feed it with action a smile, a conversation, an ask it cools off. That doesn’t mean she’s lost interest forever, it just means you’ve given her nothing new to respond to.
And no, she probably doesn’t think you’re “weak.” Women don’t usually analyze like that. What she might be thinking is: “Okay, he noticed me, I gave him a few signals… guess he’s not into me.” That’s all. She adjusts and moves on. So if you walk up now, confidently, she’s not going to care that it took you a few weeks she’ll just see a guy finally taking initiative.
The thing I’d tell you is this: you’re using “perfect timing” as an excuse. There’s never perfect timing. You’ve just got to be real. Walk up after class, say something simple like, “Hey, I’ve been meaning to talk to you want to grab coffee sometime?” You don’t need to explain the distractions or the ex. She doesn’t need your backstory, she just needs to feel your presence right now.
If you keep waiting until the “moment feels right,” you’ll miss it completely. The nerves are normal. The only way to get your game back is to play. So yeah, April’s right. Walk over, say hi, and ask her out. You don’t need a plan; you just need five seconds of courage. Can I ask, though, what’s really holding you back at this point? Fear of rejection, or that little piece of you that’s still tied to your ex?
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