[jenni]

Hi,

This will probably sound ridiculous, but here goes nothing…

About a month ago, I met a guy (let’s call him Paul) in a bar. I jumped in the deep end, and ended up in bed with him – the first time I’ve ever had a one night stand, normally I wouldn’t allow myself to do anything like that. The thing is, it turned into more than that. I spend most days with him; they don’t all revolve around sex, it’s been a lot more than just that. It sounds ridiculous, but we do genuinely connect, and it’s turned out that I really do care about him more than I could have expected. Now, the thing is, he says the same about me. He takes me out, helps me out, has been a shoulder to cry on and really done a lot for me (I’ve had a very rough few weeks)…yet he doesn’t believe in relationships. He doesn’t want us to be called boyfriend and girlfriend, and wants what can only be described as an open relationship. I’ve been with my fair share of people, and it’s NOT what I want. I feel as though I’m not good enough; yet he constantly relays that he wants to be with me, but also wants to sleep with other women.

What do I do? He is, essentially, exactly what I look for in a man. Kind, caring, loving, sensitive, funny, with a penchant for all of the music and books that I love. But I CANNOT live with an open relationship.

Help!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He is NOT exactly what you are looking for in a man because he wants to date other women in addition to you. 😳 Wake up and smell the coffee! My advice is that you date men who are compatible with you. Because you don’t both want the same thing, he’s not going to bring you anything but heartache. Cut your losses and move on now!

And [i]immediately[/i], buy Think & Date Out of Your League, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], and [b]read it!![/b] It is going to help you A LOT to date the right kind of guy so you don’t end up heartbroken again. 😀

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url].

[Jenny]

Do you think that there’s no other way we can sort this out, without simply letting him go?
Could it just be that he’s not ready for a relationship, yet? He told me all this a few nights ago, and hasn’t even mentioned it since. I don’t even know how to bring up the subject with him; he was on the phone when he mentioned it to me.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m not sure what you want to “sort out”. ❓ ❓ He wants to date other women — are you going to try to talk him out of that? 😕 Because you’d be silly to do so. It’s much better to accept who a person is and then decide if they are compatible with you or not — and if not, move on.

Clearly, he’s not ready for a relationship, but I’m not sure why you would need to “sort that out” either. Read the book I suggested you read — it’s going to help you (and help fund the free advice I give here! 😉 ) Here’s the link for Think & Date Like A Man [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url].

See you next on Facebook: [url][/url].

[Member]

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