[Sally]

It’s not silly at all. When someone you love keeps pulling away, especially on a day that matters to you, it hits deeper than just “no sex.” It feels like rejection, even if he doesn’t mean it that way.

But here’s the thing wanting him doesn’t fix whatever’s going on in his head. And pushing, even gently, only makes him shut down more. You’ve already seen that.
The part that worries me is how lonely you sound inside your own relationship. Four years in, you shouldn’t feel like you’re begging for scraps of affection.
You’re not wrong for feeling hurt. You’re human.

Just don’t turn it into a fight. Tell him the truth not about the sex, but about how distant it’s making you feel. If he loves you like he says, he needs to meet you halfway.

[Patrick]

You didn’t mention your ages, but if you’re still young and this is already happening, it might be a good idea for him to see a doctor. Since you said even he is confused about why it’s happening, maybe couples therapy could also help. It might give you both a clearer understanding of what’s going on and possibly help bring back the spark in your intimate life.

[Kish]

You’re not wrong to be upset about this. Men naturally have those kinds of needs, and a lack of sex is often one of the things that causes relationships to break down because some people end up looking for it elsewhere. It’s actually a good thing that you’re not doing that.
Maybe the two of you should consider consulting an expert or a therapist who specializes in these issues. They may be able to help you understand what’s going on and possibly help him regain the level of sexual desire he used to have.

[Member]

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