[lonelyduval121]

This is a bit of a long story but here goes. I am a 28 yr. old white man and she is a 22 yr. black woman.We have only been seeing each other for 2 months We met each other through some mutual friends that thought we might get along, which we did at the beginning. We live 2 hours apart from each other but it seemed irrelevant because she did not mind driving to where I live whenever. She is currently still in college and I have a good full-time job. We were intimate very early in the relationship but we decided verbally that we would just be cool because we both were seeing other people here and there. BUT she started coming to my house and staying 3-4 days out of the week. So obviously feelings became involved. So, I decided to talk to her about it and she said she still wanted to keep it like it was and I was like ok even though I knew it was more. Well, we began to argue about things because I would get pissed off about her texting other dudes and she would get upset also when I did it. But she still didn’t want to pursue a relationship. Well, then one day she suggested that we take a break from each other because we were arguing and I agreed but she showed back up 3 days later. We were good for a couple of days and the same thing happened. I told her that I think we have been seeing each too much and that we should have chilled out. She agreed and it got to the point where she was like Im done. SO, I saw her on a Monday and accepted the fact that the relationship (or whatever you wanna call it) was severed. She proceeded to call and text for the next 3 days which I did not respond because I was ok with it. BUT she left me a voicemail one day saying she cares more than she shows and she wants me to call her back. SHe then proceeded to tell me about her feelings. So, I was like cool. I also had family in town that weekend so I told her maybe we could get together next weekend. She was like ok. Well, she proceeded to call me 10 or more times, in which I couldn’t answer, but when I could call back she had an attitude about things, like a girlfriend would do. AND the weekend couldn’t get here fast enough so she wanted to come on Sunday after my family left. SO, I was like ok come on. Well we were good Sunday, and most of Monday but then we started arguing again about the phone. Well she said she was over it and done again and stated she would never come back to see me. She left that Tuesday, we talked a little bit throughout the day but she stated she was still pissed off at me and she really dislikes me. I was like sorry to hear that. Well, she called me later that night and I was sleeping and she was asking me something and I was half sleep so I wasn’t responding, so she hung up. That is the last time I spoke with her on the phone. I texted her the next day and she said she was fine and she didnt need anything from me Goodbye. I responded and she never responded back. I have called and she doesn’t answer. I texted her saying I am not playing this game and let it go. No contact on Thursday or Friday until 7:30 pm. I was headed to visit my family and she lives on the way so I thought I might try to squash the issue and make up but she wouldn’t answer the phone and she finally texted. She basically said she is not answering my calls and we have nothing to talk about, she doesn’t want to see me and being real nasty about it. I was like wow is this how you are really gonna be, just wash your hands with it? She replied YES, goodbye….. Whew now you have the story onto the question…. I obviously still care about her, so how do I go about the situation?? DO I try to go after her?? Do I sit back and chill? DO I just let it go because its a lost cause? DO you think she cares anymore?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

This is not a healthy relationship and I suggest you let go, stop communicating with her, and move on. Next time around, date more conservatively. In other words, don’t have sex early in the relationship and don’t have her spend two or three nights a week at your house. Instead, pick her up, take her out on a date and bring her home.

I hope that helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[lonelyduval121]

There’s the woman from my job that I flirt with frequently at work and occasionally outside of work. I talked to her last week and she asked me what I was doing for 4th of July weekend. I told her I was going to this nightclub and if she wanted to go let me know and I’ll get her on the list. So she calls me and asks if I’m still going and I said yes and she said ok, me and my girl coming out there. I said ok cool. Well I get there, I’m talking sweet in her ear and I would walk away and talk to my friends. I came back and talking to her again and she says come here and kisses me. She said Awwww our first kiss. I have to write that down. So we chilled the rest of the night. She told me really likes me, wants me to meet her dad, and told her friend she wants to start something with me. I ended up following her to her friends house and we were on the couch, both of us intoxicated, she lays down in my lap and I start rubbing her back. So we both lay down on the couch and still rubbing on her and she falls asleep after saying my hands are so warm. So I’m still rubbing on her. My dilemma is should have I pressed the issue? I was thinking 1) she is asleep, 2) we are at her friends house even though her friend says she didn’t care as long as we didn’t leave any stains on her couch, 3) it was the first time we went out together. We got in the morning and left her friends house and she was thanking me for staying with her. I talked to her the next day for a good 20 mins and everything was good. Called her again later that day and she seemed happy to hear from me but she was getting something to eat so I was like if u wanna just call me back when u get done you can. She was like ok I will, but didn’t call back. So I waited a day then texted something witty. No response. I called her phone. No answer. It’s been about 2 hrs. So my question is should have just went for it and why is she not responding?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Got it! 🙂

Whether or not you should have had sex with her really depends on what you want from a relationship. 😉 If you just want sex, then yes, you should have gone for it! If you wanted a relationship, then, no, you should have instead, dated her. But the reality is that that moment has come and gone, and wondering whether or not you should have pressed her for sex doesn’t really matter now.

As for your question about why she’s not responding, the simple answer is, because she doesn’t want to. She may have decided that she doesn’t want to get involved with someone she works with. She may be embarrassed that she got drunk and spent the night with you (even though there was no sex). Or, she may think that all you want is sex because you haven’t really asked her out on a date, and she may not want a sex-only relationship.

I hope that helps!

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