[VincentKM]

Ok, need advice.

My Girl has broken up with me, and I didn’t do anything wrong, here is why.

We got together a year ago after 10 yrs of knowing each other, she has 4 children who I have taken on as my own, and she is pregnant with a 5th which is mine.

My mother will not accept being called Nan by the first four but she will by the 5th. Because it is biologically her grandchild but the others arent. My Ex feels very strongly that all she get to call her Nan just as all call me Dad, otherwise it is favouritism of the newborn when it arrives and rejection of the other 4, I agree. I see both sides of the argument, but I agree they should all be allowed. This resulted in Me telling my Mother that my family is to have nothing to do with the baby, which hurt me to do. After a day or so of feeling a bit miserable about it, which I was bound to, my ex said she needed some space to deal with what had happened. So I gave her it, After which she ended the relationship because she couldn’t bear to see me hurting, couldn’t bear to see me choose my family or hers, and is protecting her children from it all.

I cannot change her mind, she says she still loves me and wants no one else, but she won’t do it, She is broken, hurting, and very angry with herself and everyone.

I am a broken, I miss her and the kids, I have walked away from my family because of it. I want to be there for the whole pregnancy and birth, as a Family, I see her and the kids as my family and have worked hard for that.

She is more stubborn than anyone I have ever Known. Especially at 4mths pregnant
If I go near her she will call the police, even though she still loves me and wants me, as do the kids.

What Do I Do? Please help me to get them back, I am nothing and incomplete without them.

[Ask April Masini]

You’ve realized that you have to put your new family first. But what’s missing here is your commitment to her in the form of marriage. If you want to have a real family, then it’s time for you to step up to the plate and propose marriage. She’s having your child, and her four others will be your step-children. Once you’ve made this legal and symbolic commitment of marriage, I’m sure your mother will understand that her step-grandchildren need to feel that they are just as important as her biological grandchild. And your child will want to feel that same equality from his or her step-grandparents who are biologically related to the other four half siblings your child will have.

It’s understandable that she’s hurt and she’s hormonal in her pregnancy, but I think that if you are sure she’s THE ONE and you show up with a diamond ring and one knee bent, she will forgive you.

Try it — and let me know what happens.

See you, too, on Facebook (at this link: [url][/url]) and on Twitter @AskAprilcom. 😀

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