[Anonymous]

I’ve been with my girl friend for almost three years. When I met her, I had just gotten out of one relationship and she just got divorced. I had known her for almost 10 years before we had decided to start dating. I moved in with her about a year ago 01/2010. I was going through some hard times and she always had good advice. She motivates me. But her ex husband destroyed her self esteem. She is very insecure. She constantly accuses me of cheating. I work two jobs and I come home very tired from work. I work four days and have three days off. I am very involved with her kids. They tell me everyday that they wished I was there Dad. The real question is, I feel like I lost my libido (not erection) to have sex with her, she nags and complains too much. Im trying to be the best fiance. But sometimes I feel I put in too much and I don’t feel like she see’s what I do for her. Im tired of work and her nagging. I just want her to open her eyes and stop nagging before I walk out on this relationship. Im tired of explaining my myself for everything. Please help me???

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Unfortunately, it sounds like your fiance is going to lose you to her nagging. This is common among some women and after they lose their men, they come to me wondering what they did wrong. 😳 If you’ve explained to her what’s going on, and that you’re considering leaving the relationship, and why — and she continues to nag you into depression, I’m afraid you have no choice, but to move out.

Maybe with you gone, she’ll realize what she’s done, and maybe it won’t be too late. But basically, you can’t change someone — you can only change yourself. This doesn’t sound like a communications issue. It sounds like she’s got some internal problems that are hers to deal with. You can point them out and then either enable her or move on and hope to find someone who is healthier and more ready to be in a relationship with you.

I hope that helps. I know this isn’t easy. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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