"April Masini answers questions no one else can and tells you the truth that no one else will."
"April Masini answers questions no one else can
and tells you the truth that no one else will."

Help! I’m so confused- do I move on?

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  • #7876
    heartbroken18
    Member #374,176

    My ex and I started dating in Sep 2015. His office had to relocate 2.5 hours away starting May. We are highly compatible and we call each other our best friend. During the relationship in May, him and my parents got into a confrontation. We almost broke up because of my parents, Then in early June, he flirted with someone, and we were getting in a heated argument and he broke up with me for about a couple of days. I convinced him to stay together. He was supposed to be relocated for about 9 months, however it looks like its going to extend out for another year. Since our last 2 day break up, it has been pretty good. There have been some mini arguments nothing serious. 3 weeks ago, we were shopping for engagement rings. For the past couple of weeks, hes been complaining about work, stress and pressure from work. My ex found out he would have to stay in the new city for about 1 more year – an extra 1/2 year. On Friday, he got into a machinery accident the day he was supposed to drive and visit me and he just broke up with me that same day. He said he was too stressed out, cant do long distance, that he loves me, and was happy with me, but ended the relationship. He told me to move on because he doesn’t know when he would move back and that he wants me to be happy and not waste my time. Im 32 Female, hes 30 Male. I asked him if he would ever date me again when moves back, but he said he doesn’t know. I told him I wouldn’t date other men until he told me he would never date me again. He didn’t reply. What should I do? Is there hope?

    #34852
    AskApril Masini
    Keymaster

    Long distance relationships are very difficult. It sounds like the stress of his work, the commute, parents and normal relationship problems got the best of him. 😳 If he’s truly over the relationship, then there is nothing for you to do but move on. But if he needs a break from all the stress, and maybe doesn’t even realize it, then you can back off, and hope that he’ll come around in a few months. If that does happen, and you do get another chance, I’d suggest you take some of the stress off of him by making the commute to see him at least half the time, if not more than that, so he doesn’t have to. And try to chill out if he flirts with someone — flirting isn’t cheating. 😉 In addition, consider the stress that the engagement and marriage timeline may have put on him. If the two of you are destined for marriage, then slowing down the train a little may help him feel like he’s more in control of his decision and you’ll get there slower but more solidly. 😉

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