It sounds like your boyfriend has something going on that he isn’t sharing with you, and as a loving partner, you need to balance your concerns about not being fulfilled in the relationship with your concern for his well being. It sounds from what you describe his comment (It’s not all about you.) as being that you need to focus a little more on him and offer him the opportunity to tell you what’s wrong. This is going to require you giving him the safe space to do so.
I think this may be a challenge for you because you’re used to fixing problems and solving them with action. This time, rather than get extra cable channels or making dinner reservations, you have to evoke your powers of empathy and not necessarily doing anything to fix the problem. Listening, asking questions, and not being quick to respond or jump in and change a situation are your best tools for this problem.
Patience is also something you’ll need to practice because while you’re ready to fix the relationship and put it back on track, he’s not there yet, and any relationship is a meld of both peoples’ agendas, time frames, problems, assets, etc. So try not pressuring him (you may not realize you’re doing this), being more aware than you have been, and being open to his telling you about his life in his time frame.
Let me know if that helps.
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