[Huntress1]

April i have a problem.See i met this guy in Second Life its a internet game and well were spending time together and then all of a sudden i got 1 message from a girl stating that my man was messing around on me with her and all and so i messaged her back and all and we went at it for hours bitching and bickering at each other and well then he started to change and be the man i have been dating until a couple of days ago and the day before yesterday he is acting weird like avoiding my questions like ,is there something wrong?,is it me?, is there someone else ? what is up? stuff like that and not spending time with me hardly and always playing Xbox alot till like 3am or so leaving me on skype to just yea cry my eyes out and be in total worry. Then yesterday same girl contacted me saying my man was not gonna be mine for long and other shit and thenhe is just acting weird idk what to do leave him or stay we want to be together in real and sl but idk HELP ME

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Are you fighting with a woman you’ve never met in real life over a man you’ve never met in real life? 😯

[Huntress1]

😯 well i was i have never met this girl at all and that isnt the point now the point is now he is acting so odd like avoiding me playing his game on the xbox then like staying on skype really late then now shutting off his phone and all and then yesterday telling me this “I’m gonna say this as nice as i can cause i want you to stop worrying there is nothing wrong but SHUT UP”

im seeing all the signs april help me

1.not spending time with me hardly
2.avoiding my questions about if there is someone else
3.getting calls and saying its from family members
4.staying out late when he goes places
5.turning off his phone yesterday or day before
6.staying up late and on skype and falling asleep on me whil im on skype
7.telling me to shut up for the 1st time and saying nothing is wrong

i am gonna be making some steps here april like divorcing my rl husband to be with him and all so i need help here

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]…and well then he started to change and be the man i have been dating…[/quote]

Just to clarify — have you ever been on a real date with this guy? In person?

[Huntress1]

sadly no i havent we are gonna be together in rl when i get to San Antonio to be with him but we have not been on a date at all yet 😥

[Huntress1]

and yesterday he went to work he said at 7:30pm to 12 his time and did not get back till 12:30 something and he is always going to a Card/Comic place called Hero’s and Fancisies and idk and he tells his bud that he is going to work and this old lady he lives with and all and im just like idk whats up

here is our yahoo chat

sweetangelofmine07: yea i guess it cut out fast
sweetangelofmine07: baby im just starting to wonder about alot of stuff
Vince: Yea only signal from house
sweetangelofmine07: ok but you have been idk are you ok im serious on this?
Vince: Yes I’m fine baby
Vince: & I love you so <3
sweetangelofmine07: ok but baby you have been a little odd lately
sweetangelofmine07: i love you as well
Vince: No just tired
sweetangelofmine07: baby i know that but just something seems odd lately
Vince: No

[Huntress1]

sweetangelofmine07: well if nothing is wrong then why am i feeling like thers is baby
sweetangelofmine07: i love you and im sry for this but its killing me so much
Vince: There nothing wrong babe I love you

[Huntress1]

sweetangelofmine07: i feel like im driving you away baby like your going into someone elses arms
Vince: No babe just chill I’m not Angel

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]is there something wrong?[/quote]

For you, there is something wrong because you expect monogamy from a man you’ve never met in real life. The reality is you met him on line, and he’s met other women on line, and it’s smart to assume he’s “playing the field” whether it’s dating in real life or talking to other women on line.

The truth is that the two of you are not dating. You’re talking to each other online. There’s a big difference. If you can understand this, you won’t be so upset.

[quote],is it me?[/quote]

Yes. You’re expecting this to be like a real life relationship, and it’s not. In real life, if you meet someone and if he asks you out on a date, even then it’s smart to assume he’s playing the field for at least the first three months, at which time you both decide if you want to continue dating each other or not. Since you haven’t gotten to that first date yet, it’s a good idea to assume he’s also talking to other women, and dating them in real life, too.

I don’t mean to burst your bubble, but I’d hate to see you get invested in someone who’s not that into you.

[quote], is there someone else ? [/quote]

Probably. You know about this one other woman he’s talking to, and because of the way you met him, there are probably others, as well as in real life. It’s very normal for people to play the field until they find someone they want to be monogamous with, and that’s a process that takes between three and six months of in person dating.

[quote]what is up? [/quote]

Online technology is a great way to meet people, but it’s not a great way to conduct all of a relationship, because you don’t get to know someone well enough to decide about monogamy online, only. Because you have an online only relationship and have not yet had a date in person, it’s a good idea to reserve judgment on the relationship until after you date in person for a while. 😉

Hope that helps!

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[Huntress1]

sweetangelofmine07: baby im trying and all but its gettign hard to but i am trying
Vince: I know baby
Vince: I believe in toy
Vince: You*
sweetangelofmine07: well just seems like maybe there is someone else and that you dont want me to know or something

[Huntress1]

it does in a way but what do i do about his behavior im worried and all

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You don’t have to do anything about his behavior. It’s HIS behavior — not yours. 😉

And I’m not sure what it is you’re worried about. ❓ It doesn’t sound like you have anything to worry about, from what you’ve written.

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[Huntress1]

you dont think i have to worry about him cheating on me or anything you think he is telling the truth or something

[kaivethmouse]

[quote]I am going to take some steps here like leaving my irl husband to be with him[/quote]

You’re worried about this guy you’ve never met in reality cheating, wanting to be with him without knowing how he behaves outside of technology, out in the REAL world, when you’re already married? Wow.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He isn’t cheating on you because the two of you are not dating. 😉

You have to understand that he probably [i]is[/i] talking to other girls, and maybe even dating them in real life. He may also be telling them the same thing he’s telling you. The point is, you don’t know him that well. The relationship the two of you have is an online relationship only. It’s very different from a real dating relationship. He can’t cheat if you’re not dating. 😉

Dating in real life is a great process because you get to really know him and he gets to really know you. It takes about three months of dating each other — face to face — for two people to decide if they’re going to continue the process. After dating in person for about six months, both people decide if they’re going to be monogamous or not.

I don’t mean to denigrate what you have — but this is just an online relationship, and you don’t have to worry about him cheating because you’re not dating. However…. if you want to worry about this in order to distract you from problems in your real life, that’s not so great. If that’s what’s happening, then it’s a better idea to focus on your real life problems. 😉

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