[mykee55]

So April…
i am a sophmore in college and my girlfriend is a junior. I am a virgin and she is not. we are getting to that point in our relationship where we wish to connect on a sexual level.
My problem is that I am self-critical about my size (even though there seems to be nothing wrong with it) and I am nervous about whether i’ll be good at it or not. I really want to make this the best she has ever had. i don’t want to “have sex” with her, i want to “make love” to her, and i also want my first time to be special and mind blowing for the both of us. The question is…how do i do that? how do i know it will work out the way we both want it to. I don’t even know what “great sex” is. please help. ❓

sincerely,
mykee55

[kikibrown22]

Well for starters, sex changes things. In most cases it can bring two people closer together, but you need to have a solid base first.

Secondly, I would say that you shouldn’t expect sex to be “perfect” your first time. Things almost always go wrong (even with experienced people). She will probably be just as nervous and self-conscious as you are, and will probably be more worried about her own performance than yours. I don’t think there is any secret to having good sex. The key is communication. Everyone likes different things, so the trick is learning what those things are. Pay attention to her body language with every touch and movement and encourage her to tell you what she likes. Assuming she knows you’re a virgin, she will probably be quite understanding throughout the process and will offer you guidance as you go along.

As for the size issue, I wouldn’t worry about it. The media builds it up to be a huge deal, but most girls I know prefer average size because it’s easier to work with. Too big can just be uncomfortable, and they say girls can only feel the first few inches anyway. It’s all about how you use it, and as long as you’re looking to please her, you shouldn’t have any issues. Remember, it’s a learning process so try different things and see what works. You’ll find your groove in no time.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you.

[Member]

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