Got it — thanks for the information.
I think there are two things going on here — one, threesomes never work. If you read this forum regularly, you’ll see that every now and then the issue of a threesome comes up, and the relationships crash and burn. There are a lot of reasons threesomes don’t work, but rather than go into them, you just have to look in your own house and admit that this one isn’t working.
The other problem is that you are trying to control the situation. You want both of these people to act a certain way, and that’s just not who they are. You’re afraid of losing them, so you’re trying to keep them both in the game, and it’s making you miserable.
I know this probably sounds counterintuitive, but you need to be more accepting of other people’s’ choices, and then make your own. Your boyfriend of 3 years, whom you’ve kicked out for bad behavior and financial irresponsibility, doesn’t want your girlfriend in the picture. Your girlfriend has made it crystal clear that she doesn’t want your boyfriend in the picture and she will leave you if you take up with him again. There is not going to be a happy trio here. But you need to respect their points of view, and decide what YOU are going to do since you can’t have both of them.
Either you choose one, or you choose to be alone. But don’t bang your head against a wall trying to get two people who don’t want to like each other, to do so. You can be happier if you choose or walk. Your call.
I hope that helps!
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