[Anonymous]

hi april ,. im having no sibling but i have always loved my cousin more then a sibling or even more then my parents . she has 2 sisters . which are an year elder to me and she is 7 yr elder to me . she is married now and has daughter . me in my life always gave priorities to her since my childhood but she never responded to me as such , may be because we were not able to live near to each other, but from last 5 year as i shifted near for studies i use to meet her very frequently . and as always showed lots of efforts towards her , but she never showed and king to responsive effort toward me and i always felt being neglected because she always shows attention towards her daughter and husband . she never gave value to me or respect but i always neglected , while thinking that time will alter every thing . but now i m totally broken up . i know husband and daughter are important to her but does that mean she doest have to show responsive behaviour towards any one or one who always thinks for her . doesn’t the other persons want the same or may be a bit of efforts from her side . is this enough that im her brother and i shouldn’t expect even a bit from her and should understand every problem of her despite she hardly show interest in my problems . i always showed attention towards her talks , her likings , her values and has given respect and value to her but she always did contrary of all this things towards me . she doesnt show much attention towards me when she is going good with her husband and communicate bit more when she is having fights with him but i always predicted that what she says to me is indirectly said to her husband … and that make me feel like neglected ….im not talking to her these days because every time she do some thing that hurts he or my values . cant she give me my value in her life . should i continue with this relation or she would never change .. my friends some time says keep on efferting but till what time ??????? and even i do do i have to get hurted by her behavior . cant she see my effors and cant she see that how much i love to her . probably she noticed but doesnt come out with her responses towerds me , doesnt she feel that i might be getting annoyed by her responses . please tell me …….. thanks

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

Your cousin isn’t interested in pursuing the same relationship with you that you want. 😳 That’s normal. In relationships sometimes one person wants one thing and the other person wants something completely different — this is in romantic relationships, friendships and family relationships. You can’t always get what you want, so you have to make things work and accept disparity.

That’s why I think you should accept the fact that she doesn’t want to be close to you, and stop blaming her for neglecting you in favor of her husband and daughter. What she’s doing is normal and acceptable. Your need for attention from your opposite sex cousin is sounding a little weird. 😕 If you have a girlfriend or wife in your own life, you’ll probably stop looking to your cousin for so much emotional support.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook st this link: [url][/url].

[Anonymous]

I knw april she has responsibility towards her family . Ya i dnt have girl friend ,im 22 so not married . Its nt nw that i felt it i always love her from my child hood may be when i was 4 . I just want to knw cant she see the efforts that i do for her and if she doesnt love me cant she get changed by the efforts f mine that i put till nw . She despite f knwing as i use to told her my liking never did any thng that cloud please me . Just tell me one thing dont the other person need to show responses when they sees others emotions towards u . Many times despite knwing that i like to do somethng she just neglected my feelings and did what she wants to do . Im ready to get away from the relation but it is nw as easy . Especially when when my brother in law is so much carring .

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

Let me break this down for you and try to be blunt so you get what’s going on:

[quote] I just want to knw cant she see the efforts that i do for her and if she doesnt love me cant she get changed by the efforts f mine that i put till nw .[/quote]

The answer to the first question is: [b]Yes,[/b] she can see the effort that you put into her.
The next answer to the second question in this sentence is: [b]Maybe[/b] your efforts will change her mind about her feelings for you, but probably not.

[quote] Just tell me one thing dont the other person need to show responses when they sees others emotions towards u . [/quote]

The answer is: [b]No.[/b] She does not need to show a response to your emotions. It’s time to get over yourself. 😕 You are not the most important person in her life — by a long shot.

Get out of the house — and out of her house — and start dating women and paying attention to women you are not related to. You’ll be a lot happier (and so will she) when you have a girlfriend! 😀

I hope this helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Anonymous]

hi april , thanks for the suggestions . as u told the things would be same , so do you think i should keep this relation any more. ❓

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

No. 😉

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