[Anonymous]

So my girlfriend and I had a fight and she said she didn’t want to see me anymore. So how can I get her back? or Should I even want her back ?

Basically the last couple weeks she had been feeling a little distant. So naturally I think she maybe seeing someone else. so I look on a dating website and boom I find her profile on there but it is obvious that her daughter had posted it on there. So I make a fake profile on the same dating site with her daughters name and the words after saying *****isanass in it. Well the next morning my GF calls me and is furious saying that I called her daughter an ass and that she doesn’t want to see me anymore. So I’am thinking that she was just using it as an excuse to breakup that that thier is other issues as to the why ?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You should never denigrate or demean anyone’s child. 😯 I can’t tell how old any of you are from this post or how long you’ve been dating, but if her child is a minor what you did is very very bad, and if her daughter is not a minor, your behavior was immature at best. To start calling her daughter names, on a public website, is pretty awful.

Whether or not she wanted to break up with you before, you’ve given her an excellent reason to do so now. 😕 Next time you date someone with children, be very kind and understanding to the children. Being a child of a single parent is challenging and having mom’s boyfriend curse at you on a public website can be scarring.

I hope that helps.

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]

[Anonymous]

Thanx April, I get what your saying. Her daughter is 23 by the way. I guess I didn’t really feel like posting a username as ****isanass in a fake profile was as bad as her daughter trying to undermind our relationship by posting her mothers profile on a dating website. I do agree that it was immature but if thats a deal breaker then I think the emotional stability of her and her daughter is too fragile for me to handle anyways ???

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You don’t get it. 😕 Her 23 year old daughter’s behavior should [b]never[/b] be compared to[b] your[/b] retaliation. 🙁 The minute you start competing with your girlfriend’s daughter, you’ve already lost the game. What would have been better would be your [i]understanding[/i] for her daughter’s actions. The problem was with [u]you and your girlfriend[/u] — and instead, you took your frustration about the relationship out on her daughter. The daughter did not deserve your wrath.

Basically, your girlfriend broke up with you and you couldn’t get her back, so you called her daughter an ass because you were frustrated. You went after the weaker person — a 23 year old daughter of a single mother. It was entirely inappropriate and wrong, and now you’re trying to once again put the blame on someone else’s “fragility” instead of taking responsibility for your own part in this.

The real questions that you should be answering is why she doesn’t want to see you any more. What were the fights REALLY about? Was this a basic incompatibility that you missed when you picked her? Or is there a problem that can be fixed?

[Anonymous]

April,
o.k I admit that it was completely wrong of me to make the fake profile and do what I did the way I did it. I should have confronted and asked my G.F about the dating profile, obviously now (For the record the break up didn’t happen until after I made the fake profile) I was not trying to take it out on the daughter at the time I was trying to get back at the daughter for what I felt was undermining her mother and my relationship in a joking way as to when I sent the date request to her on the website I sent things such as ” It is so great that I found the women I have already been seeing on here that is just great lol!” as immature as that sounds now I know I am an idiot. Her mother and I are both busy people and the daughter is newly single so she had been trying to get her mother to go do things that single girls in there twenties do when her mother and I were supposed to do things together on other occasions and I feel like it was for her own selfish reasons, I know I was frustrated by it and should have talked to my G.F about it now.
Back to the original post. Now that I have helped mess this up, What steps do you feel I should take to win her back ? I have called and apologized to both the daughter and her mother. However now she has said that she is just too busy to have a serious commited relationship but we can still do things together ? which sounds to me as code for we can still hook up until I find someone else to take your place ? In which I told her that I wanted to work on us and I am going to spend my time and money on someone who I can be in a relationship with ( I already lived my twenties once not raising kids like her) And normally I would just run from a situation like this but she is a good woman and I feel if I can win her back we could could have a good healthy relationship ?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Sorry, but I think you blew it. 🙁 The bond between mothers and children (even adult children) is very strong, and you denigrated her daughter, causing her to break up with you. Your apology was a good idea, but I think she’s decided that based on your behavior you’re not Mr. Right for her.

I know it’s hard to take rejection, but in a way, it’s a gift because it keeps you from wasting your time on someone who isn’t interested. My advice for you for future is to date someone who doesn’t have children — of any age!

I hope that helps.

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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