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There’s this really shy and anti-social girl in class. She doesn’t hand around with us, not even for lunch. During one of the classes, we have to play an instrument and I said to play the instrument that she specializes in, and she excitedly told the teacher that she’ll teach me. One of my other classmate also said that he wants to learn it, but she said she’ll teach me, even saying my name out. I notice one time during class, she’s supposed to pass me notes from a teacher. I realized that she’s stretching her arm out, trying to get my attention to take the notes, but kept looking down at the table. Caught her smiling, which made me wonder why she’s like that.

Recently she agreed to guide me on how to write for the instrument (it’s part of my exam). She doesn’t really reply to my messages on FB, and the last message is Unseen. My thinking is due to her not being a local. Her country blocks FB. Her replies on FB feels cold and uninterested. That night after she introduced her instrument to me, I thanked her on FB and complimented her being beautiful in that dress. She replied Thanks and asked if I need any more scores, to which I replied saying I’ll approach her again if I need help.

Are there any signs or behaviors I should look out for and what does her behavior mean?

Thank you!

[AskApril Masini]

It sounds like she likes you — now invite her to do something with you so you can get to know her further. You can invite her to have coffee after class, go to a movie, take a walk or a hike or something else that’s fun and just the two of you. 😉

[underscore]

Thank you April for the advice. Are there any signs or behavior that I should be looking out for signs of interests? And if I were to ask her out, how do I do it in such a way so as not to scare her off? She is always on her phone during classes and once, when I walking past her in class, as I approach, she looked up and quickly shielded her phone screen from me. I didn’t intend to peek at her phone or anything. She looked a little scared.

Thanks!

[AskApril Masini]

Tell her you want to talk to her about your instrumental class — and make something up that you need help with. 😉 Then, after she helps you with your music, ask her if she’d like to have coffee with you. If she says yes, she’s into you! If she says no, she’s not and you get to move on and not waste any more time or energy guessing. 🙂

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Hi April,

I’ve done as you advised.

I asked her when she would be free for a practice session to demonstrate her instrument and she asked if Good Friday was alright. Of course I agreed. So today, we met in the morning. She dressed quite well and I can see some make-up, probably blushes because her cheeks are reddish, and I think I see some eye liners. Halfway through she seemed like she’s in a rush to get back, so I asked if she’s in a rush, she said no. Then I asked what is she going to do later, she said that she’s going to go home and sleep. After the session, I asked if she wants to grab a cup of tea, but she rejected, saying that it’s alright. I even offered to buy her one.

I guess she doesn’t like me after all right?

Thanks for the advises by the way!

[underscore]

I was thinking of asking her out after exams for a movie. Should I do that?

Thanks!

[AskApril Masini]

Good work — and yes, give it another shot with the movie invitation. If she says no, move on. It’s really great that you give things a try in life. If you don’t ask, you’ll never know! 😀

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Hi April!

I have not asked her out yet, but I’ve been getting mixed signals from her and it’s making me very confused.

I was viewing her profile messenger and I accidentally clicked on the call button. I was afraid that she would know that I was viewing her profile, so I told the group chat that I’m having problems with WhatsApp. After sometime, she changed her profile pic. Following day in morning class, me and my other friend were looking at football statistics and she playfully said she understands what the table means. I jokingly tested her and of course she doesn’t know. I said something funny in class and everyone laughed (that’s what I always do). She said that I was funny then asked about the instrument test for that day. I said I’ll be practicing in the late afternoon. When morning class ended, normally she would leave immediately, but she came to me and asked what time I’ll be practicing. It felt like we really clicked.

However, when we chat on FB messenger, her replies are short and felt cold. There was no room for me to expand the chat. And it doesn’t seem like she’s interested to talk to me. I asked if she knows any good place to eat around her area, and she said she doesn’t know. Not only are the conversations short, but she’ll just disappear, not even a Last Seen. I get it that she’s a foreigner and FB is blocked in her country, so maybe she doesn’t use it. But still, if you’re interested in someone, wouldn’t you at least want to chat?

I get this feeling that she’s not interested in me at all and I should stop, or risk a friendship.

What’s actually happening?

Thanks!

[AskApril Masini]

[quote]What’s actually happening?[/quote]

You’re afraid of rejection. 😳 You have to gather your courage and ask her out. If you don’t, you’re going to spend energy writing me 20 more posts, asking me to tell you what she’s thinking. I’ve already advised you that she’s interested and you should ask her out. You had a plan to do so — and didn’t execute it. 🙁 Now, you’re trying to get yourself stuck in the “Does she like me?” zone so you don’t have to face possible rejection.

Nobody every died from a “no”. And you may get a “yes”. Besides, women like confident men who aren’t afraid to fail, so get out there and invite her to a movie or coffee or to go hiking or to go to a museum. Worst case is she says no, and best case she says yes. Besides, if she’s not interested in you (which I doubt), it’s best to cut to the chase, know that, and move on.

Don’t make this about her — it’s about you! 😉

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Hey April,

My exams are over and she helped me with my performance. I helped her carry her instrument while she dials for a taxi. I asked her when her exam performance is held and she asked whether I’m planning to come. I said yes. Then she replied saying that I don’t have to come, then followed by saying that I can come, then she said I don’t have to come, then she asked if I’m staying for the whole batch’s performance. I said I’ll probably stay. She asked me why I’m still waiting with her and I asked if she’s free after her exams. She said yes. Then I asked if I can ask her out on a date but her cab arrived. She then said to talk via chat.

I just sent her a text and asked her what time and location of her performance and she replied telling me the time and venue.

What should I do next and how do I go from here?

Thanks April.

[AskApril Masini]

Ask her out on a date.

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Hi April,

Thanks for the advice so far. I’ve already asked her out for a date, but I didn’t get any response and she said to text instead as she left in the cab. How should I ask her again? After her exams or before and to continue the conversation about the date via text?

Thanks.

[AskApril Masini]

Ask her out — in person, if possible — and if you don’t get a response, move on to someone else.

For two months you’ve been posting on this forum trying to figure out how to ask her out. When you end up spending this much energy on simply asking someone on a date, there’s something wrong, and you should just move on to a situation that’s easier.

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Hey April,

Thanks for all the advice. I’ll have to move on then. She’s online on WhatsApp but refuses to open my message. I guess she never liked me at all.

But thanks for all the help!

[AskApril Masini]

You’re very welcome.

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