[Christina]

So I was dating my boyfriend for about a year. When I left for college he broke up with me but we were still talking and off and on for the past 2 months. The big problem is that he turned into a completely different person in those 2 months. He’s a senior in high school and he’s now begun drinking and smoking pot which he used to be so against. I feel like since he’s around his football buddies so much that they’ve just rubbed off on him. Over this past weekend I went home and we were at a party together. (He had gone to his homecoming dance earlier (without me) and grinded on two different girls) but since we aren’t dating I didn’t say anything I just let it go. It was going alright and we had decided to spend the night together because it was my last night home for a month (until Thanksgiving). Well, he abandoned me at the party, with no car, to sleep at his buddy’s house when the girl he’s been trying to get with for the past month (behind my back, I only just found out about him flirting with her in school all the time) was sleeping at this place too. So he screwed me over to sleep with another girl (I’m not sure what exactly happened, but I know she doesn’t have sex). The fact of the matter is we aren’t dating, but the night before he slept over and was telling me how much he cared about me and how he can’t let go of what we have and that he wants to date me but he just likes being single and he needs time. So, on Sunday, after I found out that this girl had also slept over at the same place my ex did (there was only 4 of them that slept over, so it’s not like it was some big thing meaning my ex knew what he was getting himself into) I texted him and said, “That’s it. I don’t care what you did. I’m just done. I deserve so much better. I’m moving on. I’m cutting the little thread you’ve had me on. Goodbye” and he responded by telling me I was a skank because I commented on my guy friends facebook wall. And rather than fight back which is I’m sure what he wanted, I kept quiet. That text message about me being done was the last thing I said to him and his skank message was the last thing he said to me and it is now Thursday!! These messages were sent on Sunday. I do not want to be with this boy, he has changed way too much into a partier and that is not for me. But for some reason I still want him to want me. I still want to get a text message from him saying that he made a mistake, and honestly if I get it I probably won’t respond, I just need to know that he still cares. I need to know that he realizes what a huge mistake he made. All I really want is for him to change back into the guy I fell in love with. What happened to him? What can I do? And do you think he’ll text me soon? Will he realize that he misses me soon? Because surprisingly I miss talking to him. He was a constant in my life for so long it’s weird being without him. What’s going through his mind?

I’m just all confused and messed up. Please help me. What should I do, and how long should I wait before I give up hope of him texting me?

I apologize for how all over the place this message is, just please help me.

[Ask April Masini]

You’ve waited long enough. It’s over. He’s experimenting and changing and he’s not interested in you anymore. His behavior is very clear, and I’m sorry that you’re hurt. Rejection stings, but it’s a big gift if you look at it from a distance. Why waste your time and energy on someone who doesn’t want you? It’s much better to accept that this relationship has run it’s course and is over, so that you can move on.

You’re in a new environment now, and it’s scary and understandable that you want to hold on to things that used to bring you comfort, but a better plan is to look for love with someone who’s more compatible with you. Find someone at your college to date — not a guy who’s still in high school and is enmeshed in that culture.

You write that you want him to want you, but I think what you really want is SOMEONE to want you. It doesn’t have to be him. You can much more easily find Mr. Right if you cast your sight on the horizon — not behind you.

I hope that helps. You might want to check out my book, Think & Date Like A Man, that I wrote for women who want to find, get and keep Mr. Right. This is a perfect time for you to read it. You can get it at Amazon.com or on the website for Barnes & Noble or right here: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url].

Follow me on Twitter @AskAprilcom (no dot), too. You’ll get comfort in reading about other peoples’ issues as I tweet them. 😀

[Anonymous]

That definitely helps, thank you so much, I just need to hear it from an outside source to know it’s right to move on. It’s so hard, but I just found out today that he’s going after one of the high school freshman, I don’t need that, I’M IN COLLEGE!!

Thanks again 🙂

[Ask April Masini]

You’re welcome. I’m glad I was able to help. You’re going to be very happy with your next boyfriend! 😀

I hope you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom (no dot) on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

[Author]

Posts