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April Masini, your AskApril.
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- October 28, 2010 at 10:46 am #3045
Alucard2008Member #23,878Hello, I’m in need of some advice badly. The girl I’m dating now for about a month I’ve known for almost 10 years. Well about 6 years ago we tried dating but the timeing wasn’t right for either of us. Over the years we have kept in touch off and on. Well she just recently moved back home from Houston TX and since then we have been dating. She has a 7 month old baby from an ex boy friend that wants nothing to do with it. That’s ok with me I don’t care to raise a kid that’s not mine and might be able to adopt. Now here’s the thing, yesterday she found out that she was pregnant again. She was almost sure that it wasn’t mine but she wouldn’t know till today. She went on to tell me that she didn’t cheat on me but that about a month before she moved back she was druged and raped and didn’t know anything about the guy not even his name. Well she couldn’t wait till today so she went to the hospital last night and found out that she was 8 weeks. So it’s not mine but the raper’s. She thought about what to do and decided that she couldn’t abort it and she don’t think she can put it up for adoption. In my head I’m thinking that I can’t handle two kids that aren’t mine to raise and not knowing if she wants anymore. Should I just run and never look back or should I stay and see how things work out? I really care for this girl and have since the first time we tried dating. I know that if I leave I will feel like I’m just being selfish and not thinking of her and the two babies. What should I do? Please help!
October 28, 2010 at 5:11 pm #15356
AnonymousMember #382,293run fast October 29, 2010 at 10:20 am #16821
AnonymousMember #382,293➡ ➡ ➡ ➡ RUN VERY FAST!October 29, 2010 at 8:53 pm #16369
Alucard2008Member #23,878For the two that says run. What are your reasons for saying run? October 29, 2010 at 8:57 pm #16371How long have you two been dating? How old are you both? Are either of you divorced? October 29, 2010 at 9:53 pm #16800
Alucard2008Member #23,878[quote=”April Masini”]How long have you two been dating? How old are you both? Are either of you divorced?[/quote] Well we only been dating for a month now but like I said before we dated 6 years ago for about 6 months and talked and hung out on and off since then. When I say hang out it was like we was dating but until now things just haven’t fell into place where we can take it serious. Neither of us has been married and I’m 29 she is 23.
November 4, 2010 at 5:47 pm #16239If you stay, understand what it is that you’re getting into — this woman has a lot of chaos in her life. That’s why other readers have told you to run. Most people don’t want chaos because it’s not usually healthy for most people. If she’s willing to take responsibility for some of that chaos, or wants your support in helping her cut it down, then there is a chance this can work. She needs to go to the police and report the rape. She should also get an AIDS test and counseling as a rape victim. You shouldn’t be having unprotected sex with her until she knows she’s not a carrier of any sexually transmitted diseases as a result of the rape.
After that, she should get a child support order so that the father of the 7 month old takes care of his financial responsibilities for the baby he fathered with her.
If you do date her, you will likely become the father figure to her children. Make sure that that is what you want because your involvement with her is not just affecting you and she, but two children, as well.
I hope that helps you make a decision. Let me know how things go.
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