[LDM1989]

[color=#B2B2B2]Are you male or female:[/color]
Female

[color=#B2B2B2]Is the person your question is about male or female:[/color]
Male

[color=#B2B2B2]What is your age:[/color]
27

[color=#B2B2B2]What are the ages of the other people involved:[/color]
29

[color=#B2B2B2]What is your relationship status:[/color]
Single

[color=#B2B2B2]What is the relationship status of the person you are dating:[/color]
Single

[color=#B2B2B2]How long have the two of you been together:[/color]
8 Months (Dating)

[color=#B2B2B2]Is this an online only relationship:[/color]
No

[color=#B2B2B2]Have you ever had a date in person, face-to-face:[/color]
Yes

[color=#B2B2B2]If this is a long distance relationship, how often do you physically see each other:[/color]
Does not apply

[color=#B2B2B2]If you’re engaged, when is the wedding date:[/color]
Does not apply

[color=#B2B2B2]If you’re engaged, but there is no wedding date set — why not:[/color]
Does not apply

[color=#B2B2B2]Are you divorced or just separated:[/color]
Does not apply

[color=#B2B2B2]How long have you been divorced:[/color]
Does not apply

[color=#B2B2B2]How long has the person you are dating been divorced:[/color]
Does not apply

[color=#B2B2B2]How many kids do you each have, and how old are they:[/color]
Does not apply

[color=#B2B2B2]What country do you live in:[/color]
Canada

[color=#B2B2B2]Describe any cultural, religious or family influences impacting your relationship:[/color]
Does not apply

[LDM1989]

I was dating a guy for 8 months. One night (2.5 months ago) I told him I wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I wanted to be in an official relationship. He said he wasn’t ready for that since he had gotten out of a long term relationship just before we started dating. Anyway, I got upset, said some things. He said some things and then I ended the text. We haven’t texted or dated since. He works at a bingo hall and I see him there once a week. At first, he wouldn’t look me in the eye. He always looked furious. And he only spoke to me when necessary. Now, he will look at me but he still won’t speak to me unless it’s necessary. I wrote him a short letter and gave it to him a couple of days ago. I apologized for everything I said during our last text. I apologized for taking so long to apologize. I told him I would like to continue our friendship. I told him I regret ruining our friendship. I gave him my phone # again and told him to text me if he ever wants to talk. I told him I hope he sends me a text but I’d understand if he doesn’t. I don’t plan to contact him again. If he doesn’t text or call me, I’ll know where I stand – but how long should I wait before I give up? I know it’s only been 2 days, but I’m worried that he doesn’t want anything more to do with me. He seemed quite furious the first week and still seems mad, just not quite as much. He seems a little less mad each week. I still hold out hope that he’ll come around. I’m just not sure how long I should hold out hope for..

[AskApril Masini]

I think you have your answer. If he wanted to contact you, he would have. For future…. please avoid using texting for emotional and important conversations. It’s much better to wait and have them in person. This is the second post I’ve answered today where a text exchange ended a relationship. Texting is too easy to get sloppy with. It’s fast. It’s facile. And it’s the perfect vehicle for reactive behavior that creates emotional divides.

Next piece of advice is to not bring up “the talk” that guys hate to have. By “the talk”, I’m referring to any conversations about the relationship status. You’ll know whether you’re where you want to be by his behavior. When you initiate the talk it’s because you don’t like where you are — and guys hate this. It backs them into a corner. Maybe you needed confirmation that he wasn’t ready for the type of commitment you were, and if the talk served that purpose then so be it. But I’m not sure you really wanted the relationship to end, and that’s a common result of initiating the talk.

And lastly, when a guy is just out of a relationship and starts up with you, beware the rebound effect! 😕 Chances are you’re the relationship that he’s using to get over the last one. 😳

I hope that helps. I know it’s not good news if you were wanting a reunion, but maybe you’ll see it as an opportunity to move on and find the guy you’re looking for. 😉

[Sally]

Eight months is long enough to know if something is moving forward or just kind of hovering. Waiting only makes sense if you actually see progress more effort, clearer plans, deeper commitment. Not just words, but actions.
Waiting without change slowly turns into you putting your life on pause. And that’s when it starts to hurt your confidence and peace.
There’s no magic number of months. The better question is: do you feel chosen right now, or are you just being kept close? If you’re always wondering how long to wait, that’s usually your gut telling you you’ve already waited enough.
You’re 27. You don’t need to rush, but you also don’t need to sit in limbo hoping someone figures it out.
Clarity is kinder than waiting forever.

[Tara]

You don’t need to wait; he already gave you your answer months ago. He told you he didn’t want a relationship, you pushed, it blew up, and he walked away. Everything since then, the silence, the cold looks, the strictly necessary words, is consistent behavior from a man who is done and wants distance, not reconciliation. Your letter didn’t reopen a door; it gave him closure and confirmed that you’re still hoping. Waiting around for him to “come around” is just you refusing to accept rejection because it wasn’t delivered gently enough.

People who want to talk don’t need weeks, letters, or emotional cleanup crews; they reach out. Two days, two weeks, or two months won’t change that. He’s not slowly thawing; he’s simply adjusting to your presence at work. Stop measuring facial expressions like stock trends and stop anchoring your self-worth to his mood. You already apologized, you already extended the olive branc,h now end the waiting, reclaim your dignity, and move on.

[Member]

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