[tgbv]

I’d like to get peoples opinions on how they would react if they were in the situation I was in.

I recently started talking/seeing a woman I work with. We’ve been working together for about a year. There’s a married supervisor she talks to quite a bit and they are friends outside of work. Other people around the office have noticed the amount of time they spend talking and a few even refer to them as boyfriend/girlfriend. There have been rumors in the past of this guy ‘flirting’ with other girls. I knew how close they seemed to be before we started seeing each other and it never really bothered me. Sure there were times when I felt jealous but it was a natural jealousy not a I can’t trust you around him jealousy.

The other day I was at her desk and was looking for the supervisor. I sometimes tease her about how they talk so much. I told her I bet if you text him he’ll come to your desk right away. So she texts him, and about a minute late she receives a text. While she reads the text she smiling ear to ear. I ask her if I can see what the text says and she blushes and says no and refuses to show the text. I walk away and a little later tell her that a persons facial expressions can say a lot. The next day I tell her how I felt that its not right for her to be receiving ‘flirtatious’ texts from a married man. she says the text wasn’t from him and she was joking with me. She also got really offended and said she was hurt that I would accuse her of messing around with a married man.

I explained to her at no point did i think anything physical was happening between them. She said she need time and hasn’t really talked to me since.

Was I was out of line for assuming what I thought? I mean given the situation would most of you not feel some sort of suspicion?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]Was I was out of line for assuming what I thought? I mean given the situation would most of you not feel some sort of suspicion?[/quote]

You weren’t out of line for [i]assuming[/i] what you thought, but you were out of line for [i]telling[/i] her what she should and shouldn’t do. 😕 Whether or not she’s dating someone else in the office, or just flirting with him, is her business, alone. I understand that you may be jealous if she’s dating more than one person from the office, but it sounds like you’ve only been with her a few months, and that’s still the time when you should be figuring out if you want to continue dating her — and not a time when you have a commitment. You’re both free to date and flirt with others if you want to. She may be someone who’s a harmless flirt, or she may be playing the field. If it’s the former, then you’ve learned something about her, and if it’s the latter, than you’ve got competition! 😉 If the flirting isn’t affecting anyone’s work, I’m not sure how it’s a bad thing. Frankly, I think you’d feel the same jealousy if he was married or not, so the issue isn’t the fact that he’s married. It’s that you see him as competition. 😉

If you want to win her over, step up your game, and cut the criticism. If you no longer interested, then move on, and don’t judge. 🙂

Hope that helps!

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