[rkoch333]

Today I got accepted into the college I had wanted to get into, so you can imagine how exciting that was. To celebrate, my girlfriend and I (we’re both in high school) decided to spend the afternoon and the evening together. Before I left the house, however, I checked my Tumblr on a whim and saw that I had an anonymous message. I opened it and it said something to the effect of, “you seem to have a thing for ugly girls”.
Now, one thing I need to make abundantly clear is that I think she is absolutely beautiful, and I am far from the only one. She is very attractive, and the fact that she is a brilliantly wonderful human being only adds to that. I love her so much. But this comment still bothered me for the entire night, coming close to completely ruining the date. Now that I’m processing this and realizing that I don’t think my girlfriend is “ugly”, I might just be outraged that someone thinks that at all.
Honestly, I’m just so confused as to how to deal with this. [b]How do I let this go?[/b] I’m finding it difficult to be in a new relationship anyway since the last one with another girl ended horribly. Every time I think I’ve achieved happiness, along comes a monkey wrench such as this. [b]What do I do??[/b]

Thanks in advance.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

First of all, congratulations!! 😀 I hope you have a wonderful educational journey in college. That’s a big deal!

Second, it’s a good lesson to learn that you can’t control other peoples’ feelings. There will be people who insult your girlfriend, your mother, your dog, your best friend, your politics, your religion, your race and your values. Get used to it! The world has outspoken people who won’t agree and will even make you feel angry and sad. If you try and control their feelings you’re going to become exhausted and even angrier that you can’t. Here’s a great way to handle negativity. Try to understand it. 😉 For instance, this person who wrote something about your girlfriend is a coward. The way I know this is that they couldn’t even sign their name or put a face to their feelings. They have low self esteem and not very much character. Second, they’re trying to hurt you. The only reason they’d try to hurt you is that they want to feel more important and more successful than you. This may even be someone who is jealous about your college admission and is taking out their negative feelings on your girlfriend. This may have nothing to do with your girlfriend — she’s just a way for them to try and make you feel badly. Third, when you give your energy to something like this, you’re giving it life. The more time you spend on this insult, you’re validating it. So just delete it. Feel sorry for the person that they’re so down in the dumps they’re spending time posting negative things about your life and the people you care about, instead of having a nice time. Focus on what’s good and make a date for this weekend to celebrate with your girlfriend. Don’t waste any more time on this sad person who needs help. Take the high road whenever possible. 🙂

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