[notsure]

Me and my bf have been going out for three years already, and we now have a baby girl who will turn one in march. We recently started to have a lot of problems, anything would set us off and a lot things are really rocky. When we fight he tells me a lot of things, he insults me and I just always try to calm him down. He told me he gave up on us and that I pushed him away by being boring and that I am predictable. He told me today that it’s a routine and he’s tired of it. He also told me that It is on me now for us to be saved for us to still be an us. I ask him what’s wrong and he won’t communicate with me and just tells me if maybe I was a good gf that I would know. He claims that he is the one who does everything in our relationship and that I’m a horrible gf that I am the worst and that I ruined his life with our daughter… I don’t know what it is I am supposed to do anymore … please nobody judge me… I simply want advice I don’t want anything hurtful…

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He’s angry at himself. 🙁 And he’s projecting that anger onto you. He’s probably overwhelmed, depressed and mad at himself, a bad trifecta. Clearly, it’s not fair for him to take out his dissatisfaction with his life on you — and in such a non-productive way — but sometimes people do the best they can with what they have. I know it’s a lot to ask of yourself, but if you can realize that he’s really upset about his own life, not you, you may be able to stop being defensive and find a way to balance empathy with boundaries. Take care of yourself, since he’s not, and keep up your support system that includes dear friends and family members. You’ll need them.

[Member]

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