[milliemousie]

Okay, so I’ve been trying to figure out what’s going on in his head for a few weeks now…

We’ve had sex, multiple times, but I can’t tell if he just wants sex and physical affection (like kissing and cuddling and such) or if he’s going to want a proper relationship and become boyfriend/girlfriend with me.

He compliments me, often. If I send him a picture or say something (cute _____, you’re cute, you’re very pretty, you’re adorable, that’s adorable, and so on) without me provoking it. He says he misses me a lot, and he initiates coming over. (Him: I miss you. Me: I miss you too. Him: Hun I want to see you this weekend. — and then I told him I was busy that Sunday so he came over that Saturday for a bit). But the problem with us hanging out is we stay in, alone, and watch Netflix and cuddle (and then become intimate, cuddle some more until he decides it’s time for him to leave). When he comes over he usually only stays a few hours (a few episodes of a show or shortly more than one movie). He says he doesn’t like being inside very long, or he doesn’t like doing nothing very long, or sitting still very long. And we don’t ever go out, if he hangs out with friends (for example one day he went to hang out with a mutual friend after hanging out at my place, and didn’t even think to bring me. I’ve never been really anywhere with him except in front of my TV with him.)

Anytime we hang out, I know when he gets home because he instantly resumes texting me. And every morning he says something like “good morning hun” and will text me all day until he falls asleep, whether there’s anything to talk about or not.

In the beginning we didn’t really have a conversation, we texted constantly but it was mostly “lol” “yes” “:)” “:P” and so on with nothing else. But lately we hardly do that,we actually [for the most part] have texts with actual words and such. He’s even talked a little about his parents as of really late, which is new. And if I forget to text back (for example I read his text then fell back asleep) he’ll text me again a few hours later. And if I seem upset or something seems wrong he asks about it and gets worried.

I made a small comment of “my stomach hates me” and he pushed me for an answer telling me he’s worried and so on. And I recall one night that I was locked out and might have had to stay with someone I didn’t trust, and I think he left his phone on for me. Usually once he goes to bed any text I send doesn’t get replied to until morning, but that night I texted him after he went to sleep that I made it in the house and he replied quickly.

So I’m aware that he cares about me, but I also know he cares about everyone and is just a really nice guy.

The majority of the messages he sends me include a smiley face.

He talks about wanting to cuddle a lot, he wants us to fall asleep together and for some reason shower together. So when he’s tired, and I suggest he gets some sleep (which he doesn’t for another however long he manages to stay awake) he usually says something like “come join me?”

And if my hand touches his hand, like if I wrap my arms around him while we’re sitting, he’ll semi hold my hand but doesn’t lace his fingers through mind or anything. And if we sit side by side and I put my head on his shoulder he’ll put his head on mine and usually puts his hand on my lap.

Also, if he doesn’t text back as quick as he usually does he explains and apologizes — even though I never comment on it or question it, he just seems to have a need to explain and say sorry if he doesn’t text back instantly. (kind of cute, to be honest, but that’s opinion and not really relevant).

If I’m really tired or something, he gets worried and tries to get me to take a nap or something. And if I say I’m bummed he’ll say something like “I wish I was there to cheer you up” or ask if there’s anything he can do to help.

And just… I can’t figure him out!! I know he’s shy and awkward and has a lot of anxiety (but seems to be more comfortable around me, I think). But I still can’t figure him out! I just want to know if he just wants something casual of if he actually likes me…

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re going to be able to read him a lot more clearly if you’re a lot more clear with your own behavior. 😉 In other words, understand that if a guy wants a relationship with you, that’s beyond sex and friends with benefits, he’ll treat you like a woman he’s chasing after, wants to put on a pedestal and bring home to meet his family. 😉 If he doesn’t, he’s not that interested in anything more than you already have. So….. the way for you to figure out how he feels is to be a woman who only goes on dates where he asks you out a few days, at the very least, in advance, takes you out to nice places that he thinks you’ll like, and introduces you to his friends as someone special. So, don’t hang out. Don’t be too available, and don’t text or communicate with him first, or too often. Give him something to chase after — and if he does, you’ll know he’s interested. If he doesn’t, you’ll know he’s not. Whenever you’re confused, look at your own behavior first, and keep your side of the street clean, where you can. And then look at his behavior — not what he says — because his behavior is the true clue to how he feels.

I hope that helps!

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