[Anonymous]

Dear April,
I’m 20 years.I been dating my boyfriend for 3 years. we had our ups and downs like other relationships. He is really nice and i know that he loves me more a lot. The problem is that a year ago i met this guy friend at my college, he is 24, and used to be a marine. He only went to my college for one semester then he transfer to another college. During that semester i introduced him to my boyfriend. They only seen each other 2 times. Me and my guy friend got along good and hang between our break time. Now that he transfered, I haven’t seen him for 4 months until last week that it was his birthday. We talked on the phone & he told me how he had a little crush on me. Honestly I kind of like him too or thought i did. So when we hang on his birthday, we went to the movies & he kissed me & i kissed him back. During this time me & my boyfriend were on a little break (for a week). I honestly wanted to kiss him to see if i still had feelings for my boyfriend. I didn’t feel anything when we kissed -maybe because he was too sloppy and touchy? I don’t like when Sloppy kisses. It kinda scared me because i don’t know if he’s a little mature for me. I can say that i’m a immature girl. I felt bad and told him that we are better as friends- (because his kisses were to sloppy?). I don’t know if me and my boyfriend are together as a routine…and thats what sucks because i don’t know how to feel or what to do.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like you’ve already handled the most recent situation by telling your guy friend that you’d rather just be friends. The deeper problem is that after three years of dating your boyfriend, you’re thinking about branching out and exploring other options in dating. This guy friend is probably just the latest distraction. I have a feeling there will be more. At your age, this is normal.

My suggestion is that you don’t make any rash decisions, but think more about breaking up with your boyfriend and dating other guys. If you begin to see more pros than cons, you should do it. The truth is that if you want to play the field and you stay in your three year relationship, you’re going to end up feeling antsy and acting out, creating drama that will lead to a long, drawn out break up. I know it’s hard to break up with someone you’ve dated for as long as three years, especially at your age when you don’t have years and years and years of dating experience, but this is a great time to see what’s out there and what YOU really want in a man.

I hope that helps.

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Anonymous]

I don’t know if I can date my boyfriend knowing that I kissed someone else… how does that wwork? Will I still ne thinking about it? Idk of I can live with it. .

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you were looking for an excuse to break up with your boyfriend, and kissing this other guy while you and your boyfriend were broken up is that excuse, then go ahead and use it. It’s not particularly mature, since the real reason you are breaking up with him is not because of this other guy. It’s because your relationship with your boyfriend ran it’s course — but lots of people create drama in order to facilitate break ups because the truth is harder to deal with.

The reality is that you kissed this guy while you were broken up with your boyfriend, so it’s not cheating.

I can’t tell you if you’ll be thinking about the other guy or not, but if you’re not happy with your boyfriend, you’re definitely going to think about the other guy — and any other distraction you can think of to get you out of your current relationship, at least in a fantasy type of way.

If you can’t live with having kissed another guy while you were broken up with your boyfriend, and technically single, then you need to think about the bigger picture when it comes to dating. It’s important to figure out what you want so you can go for it and not waste time (yours or his). Playing the field is a way of figuring out what you want in a relationship — and that’s what you were attempting to do.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Anonymous]

It’s so hard to make this decision because I basically have one of the sweetest, caring, handsome, and honest boyfriend… and my family loves him. I just feel very sad because he even cries and tells me how much he loves me & how he is willing to make our relationship work and to make me happy again. However, I’m still keeping in touch with my guy friend. We hang out today since we’re on spring break- but as friends. Nothing awkward happened. Looks like he’s over what happened b/c he was texting some girls. We might hang out again because He is leaving in a month to Iraq. Should I stop hanging out with my guy friend? April, if i decide to give this guy, my boyfriend, a chance to make me happy, do you think it’ll would work? Should tell him what I did?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

No, don’t hang out with your guy friend. If you want to find Mr. Right, act like it! Read Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], for more detailed advice on this subject!

Don’t tell your boyfriend that you kissed another guy when the two of you were broken up. It’s none of his business since the kiss happened during a break up.

And no, I don’t think that your boyfriend can make you happy now, after three years of dating and you’re not happy. Enough is enough. Move on! If you don’t, you’ll be wasting both your time and his! 😳

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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