[surfbabe236]

Hi April,
I really need some advice and i have no clue where to go with this anymore. Its quite a long story but here it is.
So, i just graduated highschool in June and i went with 3 of my best girlfriends to Barcelona for our grad trip. When i arrive there i recieve a facebook message from this guy who i knew 8 years ago when i was very young. We never really spoke then but anyways, he told me that he was living there now and asked if i wanted to hang out so he could show us the best places to go. I said yes and we ended up really getting along and spending the rest of my trip there together. We hooked up and he told me he didnt want me to leave and that i was the first girl after his ex that he could really see something with. I felt the same way. So we kept a summer romance going. Hes in university in Oxford and im at Uni in Edinburgh but then at the end of summer he was being very quiet and not writing to me anymore. I then confronted him and he said we were just friends after telling me all summer that he missed me and he really cares about me and that he needs to see me and if we lived in the same place we would be together… I dont understand how that means we are just friends. Anyways after that i felt pathetic and stupid so i stopped talking to him. I then went to Oxford 3 months later to visit my friend and i asked him if he would be up for a cup of coffee or something. So on my last night we ended up going for a drink and then i stayed at his place and we hooked up again. I really care about this boy.. and then when i left he wrote to me saying “i have the biggest smile on my face today, it was great seeing you i really missed you.”
Now its been 3 weeks since then and i have to be the one to write him all the time and i have too much pride to be messed with again. He said he would call me this past weekend and didnt and never sent a message saying why. It is now wenesday and i want to write something to him because i am angry and upset but i dont want it to sound too desperate and i dont want him to hate me.
Help me please!!! 🙁

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

You have to decide what you want — and if you want a relationship with a guy who wants you, you can’t chase him. When a guy wants to date you, he will! This guy isn’t that interested in you, and you’re mistaking sex for a relationship or sex for a commitment or sex for love. It’s a common mistake.

My advice is not to contact him at all. If he’s interested, he’ll contact you — like he originally did. Not everyone is going to be everyone else’s cup of tea, and it sounds like he lost interest in you for a couple of reasons, including the one that a long distance relationship wasn’t something he wanted. Just because he said and behaved a certain way last summer doesn’t mean he feels that same way now. In fact, he doesn’t.

I know this is disappointing, but my advice is that if you want to be someone’s girlfriend, you need to act like a girlfriend, not a hookup. They’re different.

I hope that helps. 😉

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[Member]

Posts